We're going to Corporate Central, Que Sera Sera...

Courtesy of my mate Woodsy (a lifelong Cambridge Utd. supporter), I went to Wembley yesterday to watch the Blue Square Premier play-off final between Cambridge Utd. and Torquay Utd.
Originally Woodsy had got me two ordinary tickets for the Cambridge end, however when he offered me an upgrade to the corporate box, I quickly accepted it, more out of curiosity than anything else. I was curious to see the new Wembley as well as the posh bit of it, where the rich hobnob with the famous (and viceversa) whilst there is a stupid football match going on.
As a football fan, the experience was rather disappointing. And no.... that's not because my oysters were from Brittany, rather than from Ireland. I was disappointed to see how the beautiful game has sold its soul to the corporate devil. The boxes are very plush and cosy, the corridors have nice soft carpets, ushers everywhere, which is all very nice if it was an exclusive clinic or a boutique 6-star hotel..... but can someone please tell me what that has got to do with football? I was quite disappointed to find that there was no attendant to give me a lavender-scented towel to dry my hands in the toilet.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I'm sad to report that Wembley's corporate area employs a disordinate amount of jobsworths, whose only preoccupation is to spoil everyone's enjoyment. So now I know that you can't even have a cup of coffee when the match has re-started after the interval. How cheeky of my girlfriend to remonstrate that she didn't want any alcohol, just some black coffee. And don't you dare drink alcohol in your corporate box room when the teams are on the pitch. If you want to keep drinking booze, then the blinds will have to come down. No.... seriously.
The stadium in itself looks beautiful and is impressive both from the outside and the inside. However I have now learnt my lesson - I just don't belong in the corporate area.