Tongue-In-Cheek

Welcome to 2010

2010-01-01T22:36:00.002Z

This new year could not come soon enough!

Too many bad things happened to me and to people that I care about in this 'annus feckin horribilis'. This is also a reason for my lack of activity on this blog and for this I would like to apologise to my thousands of fans. I will try and improve my posting ratio in 2010.

May this New Year bring to all of us what we wished for.

I want, I want!!

2009-11-09T21:07:00.003Z

Ok, I may be a bit too old for these things.... but they look great!!!

This article is published, courtesy of the FT:

Five battery-operated robotic hamsters costing about $10 each have become the must-have toy of Christmas 2009, with parents in North America and the UK snapping them up as soon as they arrive on retailers’ shelves.
Zhu Zhu Pets, sold in the UK as Go Go Pets, are the hottest toy of the season, according to Jerry Storch, chief executive of Toys R Us, the retailer, a phenomenon on a par with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the smash hit of Christmas 1987.
The interactive hamsters, Mr Squiggles, Patches, Chunk, Pipsqueak and Num Nums, respond to touch with squeeks and noises, and can be set to run about randomly in “explore” mode, or to “coo and chirp” calmly when held.
They also react to separately sold accessories that include a toy house, a bed and a small car with sound effects such as teeth cleaning and toilet flushing noises, televison sounds, disco music and yawning.
Mr Storch said initial demand for the toys was so strong that Toys R Us had not listed them in its Christmas toy catalogue to avoid disappointing customers.
“Word of mouth alone stimulated demand to the point that if we advertised it would only be bad for business,” he said.
Walmart, the largest US retailer, kept the hamsters off its shelves until this weekend.
The range – which includes various separately sold accessories – was launched this summer by Cepia, a small company based in St Louis, Missouri. It was founded in 2004 by Russell Hornsby, an entrepreneur whose previous success was a battery-powered sprayer.
Mr Hornsby said the hamsters spent only between 30 seconds and three minutes on the shelf before being bought.
He had shipped about 6m units and expected to ship another 6m by the end of the Christmas period. He estimated sales of $300m to $400m in the coming 12 months as the product range expanded.
“It’s not just hamsters,” Mr Hornsby said. “We are bringing out the clans: chipmunks, squirrels, hedgehogs, rabbits ... We have all sorts of cute things coming.”
An active secondary market for the hamsters has developed on Ebay, with Mr Squiggles and Num Nums changing hands this week for more than $20.
Jon Diver, managing director of Character Group, which distributes the toys in the UK, said “sell-through has been quite incredible” and that extra supplies have been air-freighted in from China.

Holiday - Day 8 & 9

2009-11-04T10:15:00.001Z

Not in the best of moods as my back / leg doesn’t show any sign of improvement, not to mention that this otherwise fantastic holiday is coming to an end.
Yesterday morning I went for the second threesome... and I wish I hadn’t bothered. I don’t know if the massage is to blame but last night my pain was so intense that I could barely walk. The situation was definitely worse than the day before.
After a good night’s sleep, this morning I went to the local hospital to see if they could do something about it. They gave me some strong painkillers and obviously recommended seeing my GP once I get back to London. I’m not exactly looking forward to a long-haul flight with such an intense pain in my back so the stronger the painkiller the better.
The weather has not been very good over the last couple of days so – rather than wasting a trip to the beach – yesterday afternoon I did a little bit of DVD shopping. Today the weather seemed to be considerably better so I ventured all the way to Surin beach. It goes without saying that as soon as I settled down the sun disappeared behind thick clouds, never to show again!
A few goodbye drinks to be had tonight in Bodega, the Offshore bar on Nanai Road, Mai Thai bar in Soi Eric etc...

Holiday - Day 7

2009-11-02T12:21:00.003Z

No messing about, I’m going to give it to you straight... today I went to a ‘massage parlour’ and had a superb threesome, involving myself and two Thai ladies. There you go, I said it!! It was the best threesome that I’ve ever had... probably because it was the first?!?! Plenty of action – it lasted over 2.5 hours (you never knew I had so much stamina eh?!)... awesome satisfaction for all concerned with lots of ‘oooohhh’s and ‘aaaahhh’s..... not to mention the odd ‘f@ck’ for good measure... and a little bit of pillow-biting for the kinky among you!
Ok, before you report me to the Interpol, let me give you the full picture. As my lower back / left leg is showing no sign of improvement, I decided to have another massage, following the one that I had last week in Bangkok. This particular massage parlour was recommended by Jen, a friend of Sefton. Jen is the nice Thai lady that rented me a motorbike for my holiday.
Just very close to Jen’s office, there’s this little unassuming massage parlour, which from the outside is not different to any of the hundreds of parlours here in Patong. However they don’t provide any dodgy massages (thank Buddha for that), but what they're good at (allegedly) is treating people with back problems. As I’m at the end of my tether with this pain, I decided to go down this avenue.
I had two ladies pummelling my back and my legs for 2.5 hours, which was very painful indeed – to use a technical term, they beat me to a pulp! If you consider the the total bill came up to 750 Thai baht (roughly 15 squid), it is definitely a bargain. I can’t begin to think how much a 2.5 hour-long massage would set me back if I had it in London. In fact, even in Leeds or Newcastle you can’t have someone beaten to a pulp for such a small figure! Said that, in those cities you could probably find someone willing to do it for free on a Friday night if you tell them that the ’victim’ is an Italian hailing from Surrey.
There was a lot of pain involved in all honesty, hence all the noises, the pillow-biting and the odd swear word mentioned in the first paragraph above. Was it worth it though?! The honest answer is.... I don’t know (yet). I may have a better indication tonight when I try to go for my usual post-dinner stroll. Fingers crossed!

Holiday - Day 5 & 6 (Part 2)

2009-11-01T12:11:00.003Z

More Surin beach pics:

Holiday - Day 5 & 6 (Part 1)

2009-11-01T11:58:00.005Z

From today I’ll have to stop referring to my 'favourite' beaches in Phuket.... as there are just too many of them! Today I went to Surin Beach, about 10km north of Patong, just past Laem Singh beach. Surin has always been famous for its crystal clear water. In fact the water is so clear that it makes Patong beach look like Blackpool or Brighton
There are lots of little restaurants and stalls lining Surin beach, serving both Thai and western food. I got a bit thirsty and got myself a very big fresh coconut. In fact to be honest with you, I didn’t even have to leave my sun lounger as they can bring it to you. Very lazy I know!
What I like about this beach is that – although it is packed with sunbeds and parasols as far as the eye can see, there is quite some distance between each parasol so you don’t have the dreaded Torremolinos effect. And I love the extra large wooden sunbeds (available for 100 baht) that they have here.
Last night my friend Jaroon took me to a new bar that opened only 2 months ago in Patong, very close to the Jungceylon shopping centre. This bar is called Bodega (http://www.bodegaphuket.com/) and is just off one of the main arteries (Rat-U-Thit Road). It’s a kind of tapas / lounge bar, with a very relaxed atmosphere. They have some very nice paintings on the wall and decent live music, although not of the eardrum-breaking variety that you get in so many bars in Patong. And for once it was nice to hear somebody singing pretty well – Simon Cowell would have the mother of all field days if he listened to most of the live acts in Patong!
This bar is run by a truly nice and welcoming couple, Robin and Amy Donovan. Robin is a great bloke from Bournemouth, whilst his wife Amy, also born in the UK, has a nice Sith-Ifrikan twang. My friend Jaroon informed me that Amy is one of the leading members of Chicky Net, a social network for expat women in Thailand (http://chickynetphuket.ning.com/). It’s amazing to see how you can build up a loyal clientele base in just two months, a clientele that wants to chill out in a laid-back environment as not every tourist in Patong is after Thai girls (or ladyboys!). Bodega certainly gets my vote and I will certainly pay them another visit before the end of my holiday.

The first two pics below were taken in Surin, whilst the latter two refer to Laem Singh beach.

Holiday - Day 4 & 5

2009-10-31T11:32:00.003Z

Yesterday evening I went to see Sefton, a great English bloke that’s been living in Phuket for a number of years.
We met up in the Off Shore Bar on Nanai Road. Nanai Road is on Patong Hill, quite off the beaten track, which was good for a change as you don’t get any hassle from girls or touts soliciting any sort of funny/dodgy business.
Talking of dodgy business going on in this part of the world, after many years it still escapes me what the attraction is in seeing shows where Thai girls shove ping-pong balls up their whatsits, only to churn them out seconds later at sound wall barrier-breaking speed. What is remotely sexy or funny about it?!?!? The only rational explanation that I can think of is that it’s a rite of passage and initiation for aspiring gay blokes. And don’t get me started on darts.... yes darts, as in oooonneehuuundredandeeeiiigghtyyyy!!! Truly mind-boggling stuff.
Anyway on the Off Shore Bar, I had a taste of Britain as Friday night is curry night! Chicken Masala with plain rice for 150 Thai baht, which is roughly less than 3 quid. Not the best cuzza I’ve had in ages but how can you complain at that price?! In London I can barely sniff the poppadoms for 3 pounds.
Today I went to Nai Harn, which in my humble opinion is one of the best beaches on the island (along with Laem Singh and Nai Ton). The pictures below probably say a lot more than a thousand words.

Holiday - Day 3 & 4 (Part 2)

2009-10-30T11:53:00.004Z

Today I went to Laem Singh beach, roughly 10k north of Patong. It's a lovely little beach that usually doesn't get too busy.
Before getting to Laem Singh, I stopped off for a quick spot of lunch at one of these road stalls that you can see in Pic 4 & 5. The Ivy it ain't... but who cares when the food is so good and cheap.
On Laem Singh, there is Ali's restaurant - Ali is a great bloke and always has a smile for everyone. His business got literally wiped away when the infamous tsunami hit Phuket a few years ago. Luckily none of his family and staff lost their lives on that tragic day. He was able to re-build his little restaurant, that serves amazingly fresh seafood, within very few months.

Holiday - Day 3 & 4 (Part 1)

2009-10-30T11:45:00.003Z

Ok, I promised to post a few pics yesterday (or was it the day before yesterday?? Time flies when you're having fun hehehe), so here they are. Hardly David Bailey material, so don't say I didn't warn you if they're not your cup of tea.
The first lot refers to Patong beach, not the best beach on the island but walking distance from my royal apartment.

Holiday - Day 2 & 3

2009-10-29T13:00:00.001Z

I am beginning to settle in nicely in my little Guest House. Like every accommodation, it’s got its pros and cons. Let’s go through them quickly... Pros: 1) it’s central – less than 10 mins walk to the beach; 2) it’s rather cheap – less than 10 squid per night; 3) it offers free wifi. Cons: 1) it’s located in a dark back alley, populated by a few dodgy dogs and stray ladyboys (or the other way around, maybe?). In all honesty, its location makes Khaosan Road in Bangkok look like feckin Mayfair. Anyway the room is clean and spacious enough, it’s got almost virtually everything you need for a stay in Phuket, plus the Guest House owners are a friendly bunch so altogether I’m happy with my choice of accommodation.

Last night I visited one of my favourite restaurants in Patong (Chiang Rai, at the back of Soi Tiger) to get my Thai food fix. One tom yam kung, 4 big fried prawns and 2 Singhas later, all I was ready for was... the bed! I suppose that a mix of jet lag and sleep deprivation finally caught up with me as I made my sorry way to my room, yawning like a hippo just as everyone else in town was about to go out and have fun. There are some malicious rumours going round that I accepted the kind offer of a blanket and a cup of cocoa by the Guest House owners before retiring to my royal apartment but they are totally untrue.

One minor annoyance is the big number of touts plying their trade in the main streets of Patong. Besides the tuk-tuk mafia, one of my main gripes is with those guys that hold some sort of big lizard (or is it a small iguana??) in their hands, giving you the fantastic opportunity (NOT) of having your picture taken whilst holding such exotic creature. Now don’t get me wrong, I am no tree hugging vegan and I understand that everyone has to make a living... but I can’t help feeling very sorry for those poor blighters (the animals, that is, I’d shoot the touts). Those poor animals look absolutely petrified to me – in fact, surrounded by all those humans and all that noise, they almost definitely are.

Another nuisance is provided by the ubiquitous tailors. Again, they are there to make an honest living for themselves and their families... back in Nepal or Burma (none of them are Thais!!) but why, oh why, do they all have to shake your hand and ask you ‘where are you from boss?’..?? A few years ago I made the mistake of telling a few of them that I’m from Italy so their usual retort would be either a cheerful “Buongiorno, como stai amigo mio?” or a mood-darkening “Ciao Napolitano”. As 1) the mere option of being taken for a Neapolitan would spoil my entire day, and 2) I am a grumpy unsociable b@stard (by my own admission...) and don’t want to shake more hands than a diplomat at a UN conference, now I either cross the street to avoid them altogether or tell them that I’m from Estonia, which seems to shut them up. It’ll take them a while to find out how to say “Fancy a nice suit?” in Estonian.

Today I went to the beach and I’m pleased to report that it’s been a scorching day so far. Apart from a few clouds in the sky, the sun has been shining all day long and the temperature must have been in the early 30’s. I’d like to think that I learnt from previous mistakes so I only spent less than an hour in the sun - I’d rather spend the next few days under the parasol sipping a fresh coconut than in my room licking my badly sunburnt wounds.

Off for a nice shower soon and then I’m going to see an English-speaking pharmacist - my lower back / leg pain doesn’t seem to get any better and, after 2 weeks of unsuccessful treatment, it’s not funny anymore. Fingers crossed.

Holiday - Day 1 & 2

2009-10-28T12:01:00.003Z

Yippee... finally I’m on holiday! A long-awaited holiday! Currently I’m in Phuket, however I arrived in Bangkok yesterday morning (Tuesday 27/10) but I flew again today to get to the southerly island of Phuket.
The first leg of my flight was not that great as The Qatar Airways aircraft was not one of the newest in their fleet. The In Flight Entertainment (IFE) was slightly defective and my window seat had a fairly big metal box (something to do with the IFE, so I’m told) placed right underneath the seat ahead of mine, which meant that I could not stretch my left leg at all. This worked wonders for my already dodgy left leg...
The in-transit area of Doha airport is nothing to write home about but luckily the 3-hour stopover went relatively quickly as I had a good book with me (Starting Over by Tony Parsons).
The second leg of my flight went even quicker as I took full advantage of Qatar Airways’ superb catering and gurgled two (small) bottles of wine with my dinner. In other words, I had barely managed to finish my food that I was already in the Land Of Nod.
No matter how many times you have been to Bangkok as a visitor, probably you will never get used to the hustle and bustle of this city. The traffic is atrocious at almost every hour of the day and night with all those cars, motorbikes and tuk-tuks competing against each other for the next square inch of asphalt with scant regard for the road rules. Yeah, I know, a bit rich coming from an Italian...
In the afternoon, after visiting my favourite tailor and buying far more shirts than I really need (histiry has a penchant for repeating itself...), I opted for a good massage to see if they could alleviate the pain in my left leg. Knowing only too well what sort of comments my mention of a ‘good massage in Bangkok’ can raise, I’d like to stress that ‘good’ means a massage not of the dodgy variety! In this city it’s much easier to get a massage with a few extras added on (wink wink.... and the letter I can be replaced by an A) than a traditional massage for the infirm and the needy like yours truly.
I’m pleased to report that – in time-honoured fashion whenever I’m in this part of the world – the seafood and the coconut industries got a bit of a boost last night. Had an early night as I was rather tired due to the flight, plus this morning I had an atrociously early Air Asia flight to Phuket.
Got to Phuket about 9am and I was (once again) quite surprised by the pace of change that this island is experiencing. Every time I get here there are new buildings being erected, new roads being built.... maybe a bit too many? I wonder if Phuket one day is going to experience a Spanish-style economic bubble.
Patong (the main town in the island) is busier than I thought. Reading some reports on the Net, I would have thought that I was coming to a ghost town but this is far from the truth. Sure, there are ‘Vacancies’ sign almost everywhere but seeing how busy some of the streets are you wouldn’t think that we are in low-season (and in the midst of a recession!).
Back to my Guest House now as the heavens have opened big style. So today in Phuket we have seen clouds, heavy clouds, sunshine, hot sunshine, rain and heavy rain - all in the space of few hours. It’s just like being in London, innit.

No rest for the wicked

2009-10-26T03:21:00.001Z

It was a hectic week last week. Final week at my Japanese employer so had to tie up all the loose ends before my departure... Roma away at Fulham on Thursday.... leaving drinks on Friday (thanks a lot to all the lovely people that turned up)..... flying to Rome at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning.... coming back to London on Sunday night (got home at 11pm)....and now at 3am on Monday morning I have just finished packing up for my 10-day holiday in Thailand!!
Have to leave home in 2 hours at 5am as my Qatar Airways flight leaves Heathrow at 8am. Qatar Airways enjoy a great reputation, therefore I so hope they’ll leave up to it as I’m sick and tired of crappy airlines, like Alitalia just to mention one.
I’m planning to stay awake for the first leg of my flight (London to Doha) and then have a good snooze on the second leg (Doha to Bangkok). The idea is to try and adapt to local time as soon as possible. Staying awake on the first leg shouldn’t be a problem at all as allegedly the In Flight Entertainment on Qatar Airways is top notch... we’ll see!
I plan to post daily updates on my holiday in Phuket... with hopefully some great pictures as well. Please feel free to send your comments. Speak soon :)

Mrs Mastella

2009-10-22T11:03:00.002+01:00

Scoppia lo scandalo dell'Arpac e coinvolge anche la presidente del consiglio regionale, Sandra Lonardo Mastella. Secondo la procura di Napoli, all'Agenzia regionale per l'ambiente le assunzioni clientelari, messe nero su bianco in un file, sono state per lungo tempo la norma.
Nell'inchiesta sono indagate ben 63 persone ma il provvedimento più eclatante assunto dal gip per la presidente del consiglio regionale Sandra Lonardo, moglie di Clemente Mastella (leader dell'Udeur e noto porco democristiano) è il divieto di dimora in Campania e in sei province limitrofe (Latina, Frosinone, Isernia, Campobasso, Foggia e Potenza).

E che e’ una punizione?? Io pagherei di tasca mia per non risiedere in quei posti...
Nell'abitazione di Sandra Lonardo a Ceppaloni si sono presentati cinque carabinieri in borghese. Successivamente la moglie di Mastella ha lasciato la villa e si è diretta a Roma. La presidente del Consiglio campano si dice sconvolta. Prima in un lunga dichiarazione e poi in una lettera, nella quale si legge: “Mi è crollato il mondo addosso”.

E MAGARI FOSSE VERO, diciamo noi....

The Tories' best ally

2009-10-21T15:41:00.002+01:00

Yesterday Harriet Harman warned that companies with men-only boards will fail to win government contracts if they fail to appoint more women.
Is there any limit to the sheer stupidity of this woman?
Call me old-fashioned but if I had to make an appointment to the board of directors, I would tend to choose the best candidate for the job, and I could not care less if this person is a man or a woman (or a South African athlete).
If Harriet ‘chip on her shoulder’ Harman is really so desperate to get more women on companies’ boards, maybe she should try and offer some form of tax incentive to those companies that appoint a female director, rather than threatening an embargo on said companies.
Long live Gordon Brown if this lefty feminist is the best candidate that Labour can offer to the nation in case of a leadership challenge.

What a U-turn

2009-10-20T21:59:00.002+01:00

Boris Johnson – formerly the City’s self-proclaimed champion – went on the offensive yesterday as he said he would take a harder line with the banking industry.
It was only 2 weeks ago at the Tory party conference that he stood up for the country’s most vituperated sector, reminding everyone that the so-called leper colony in the City of London produces 9% of UK GDP etc... etc...
Therefore it was rather surprising to read that Bozza described bankers as ‘cockroaches’ and attacked the City’s culture of ‘greed’. The man is not afraid of taking a stand and has made his feelings very clear once again.
The obvious question is: what has prompted a volte-face of such magnitude? I think that Boris Johnson has realised that the main players in the City are refusing to learn from their recent badly misguided actions. He has probably felt that the same horrible mistakes that led to most of the problems that we are facing now can be easily repeated again and again. If my assumption is right, then surely I can’t blame Bozza for making such strong statements, in fact I support him wholeheartedly.

World Cup qualifiers

2009-10-14T22:44:00.001+01:00

With the vast majority of matches in European groups being lame ducks, surely the spotlight tonight has to be on South America with Argentina having to avoid defeat in Uruguay if they want to make it to South Africa next June. Depending on the outcome of the Chile v Ecuador match (more about this match later), should the Argies lose in Montevideo, they may end up fifth and therefore having to play off against a team from the Concacaf zone, or sixth in which case they can look forward to watching the World Cup on TV without taking part.
It’s true that most fans want to see all the best countries competing for the top prize at the World Cup come next June, however I can’t help laughing at the prospect of seeing Maradona & Co. in front of their plasma TVs next June.
Argentina’s away record in the qualifying group is far from impeccable, and Uruguay are no mugs, particularly on home soil, therefore Argentina can expect more than a few hairy moments in those vital 90 minutes in Montevideo. Considering the Argies struggled to beat Peru last weekend (they only scored the winner in injury time!!), my prediction is a priceless 1-0 win for Uruguay.
At the same time, I still think that Chile are just too good for Ecuador and should get at least a draw in Santiago. Saying that, Chile have absolutely nothing to play for whilst for Ecuador the carrot dangling in front of their eyes is no less than a ticket to South Africa. Luckily the evil of corruption has never affected the outcome of important games in Latin America therefore I would bet my house that Ecuador will not beat Chile at home. Hhhmmm, maybe not.............

Pay up or quit

2009-10-13T22:10:00.000+01:00

Well done to David Cameron for stating clearly that if his MPs do not pay back money at the end of the expenses review they will not be able to stand again for the Conservatives.
But what if the greedy feckers have already decided to give up politics anyway? I hope that this will be a matter for the courts. If you or I are caught with our fingers in the till, saying sorry and promising to give the money back is not good enough to avoid being prosecuted. Why should it be different for MPs?

Moving on

2009-10-12T22:30:00.001+01:00

Finally... some good news with regard to my professional life. After being severely underpaid for the last 6 months at a Japanese bank, yours truly has managed to find alternative employment in the City.
It’s not the solution to all problems but getting more dosh in your pockets at month end may solve quite a few of those.
Last day in the office will be Friday 23rd October so have less than 2 weeks to go. Then 2 weeks on holiday (to recharge my batteries!) before starting work at my new employer on Monday 9th November. Leaving drinks likely to be on my very last day, ie. 23/10.
Things could only get better... the comeback has begun!

Bring it on

2009-10-08T16:32:00.004+01:00

The real problem here is the sheer embarrassment and the loss of international credibility (provided we ever had one) for Italy, thanks to the antics of an outlaw, a court jester who has been lucky and clever enough (why not? Credit where is due) to fool the majority of the Italian voters several times since 1994.
This article is published courtesy of the Financial Times:

Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s centre-right prime minister, on Thursday said he would defend himself in court against what he called “absurd” charges following the rejection of his immunity from prosecution by the constitutional court.
(I will tell you what it is absurd here – it’s the fact that he has not resigned yet…; every politician with a shred of decency would have done so ages ago).

“The two trials against me are false, laughable, absurd, and I will show this to Italians by going on television and I will defend myself in the courtroom and make my accusers look ridiculous and show everyone what stuff they are made of and what stuff I am made of,” he said in a radio interview.
(Looking forward to it mate – bring it on….).

Mr Berlusconi had been on trial in Milan in two separate cases last year when parliament passed a law giving immunity to him and three other holders of top state office. The trials were suspended.
After two days of deliberations the 15 constitutional judges ruled by nine to six on Wednesday that the immunity law was unconstitutional on the grounds that all Italians are equal before the law.
The trial in which he is accused of bribing David Mills, his former UK lawyer, to give false testimony to protect his business interests will have to start all over again with new judges, lawyers said. A date has not been announced. Mr Mills, who was found guilty last February and given a 4½ year jail sentence, will have his appeal heard from Friday. Both men pleaded not guilty.
The second case involves Mr Berlusconi’s Mediaset television company and allegations of tax fraud and false accounting surrounding the acquisition of foreign television and film rights. Mr Berlusconi has denied wrongdoing.
Reacting to the constitutional court’s ruling, Mr Berlusconi defiantly declared on Wednesday night that he intended to stay in office until the end of his term in 2013, ruling out resignation or early elections.
But raising the stakes in his long-running battles with the courts, Mr Berlusconi also launched a broadside against the constitutional court and the judiciary as a whole, accusing judges of leftwing bias. He also attacked Giorgio Napolitano, head of state and a former communist, as being from the left.
(What? Turning against your partners in crime now, are you? That's not very nice... but neither is lying to the whole country time and time again.)

His attack on the court and the president has polarised public opinion more than the issue of immunity. His angry broadside shocked even some of his coalition partners who had already started distancing themselves from Mr Berlusconi during exposure over the past six months of sex scandals involving prostitutes at his parties.
Gianfranco Fini, speaker of parliament and co-founder with Mr Berlusconi of their new People of Liberty party, upheld the prime minister’s right to stay in office but pointedly rejected criticism of the court and the president.
Giulio Tremonti, finance minister, said in a statement he was most honoured to serve in Mr Berlusconi’s government. He avoided criticism of the institutions of the state, however.
Leaders of the divided centre-left opposition were delighted that Mr Berlusconi had lost his immunity. But they were also clearly relieved that they would be spared snap elections which opinion polls indicate Mr Berlusconi’s coalition would win comfortably.
Commentators on Thursday said the nation risked being the loser in all this, with a government handicapped by Mr Berlusconi’s legal battles and his standing in the international community further weakened.
Rome’s daily Messaggero newspaper commented: “The real problem is the good of the country.”

Is the law equal for all?

2009-10-07T15:03:00.001+01:00

Not in Italy, it seems, according to Niccolo’ Ghedini, Berlusconi’s lawyer and court arselicker.

This article is published courtesy of The Times:

It was an interesting piece of legal doublethink: although the law was equal for all, said Niccolo Ghedini, the wily and cadaverous personal lawyer for Silvio Berlusconi, “application of the law is another matter”.
When Patrizia D’Addario, a prostitute from Bari, alleged this year that the Prime Minister had slept with her on the night of the US election, Mr Ghedini said that his boss had not committed a crime because he was merely “the end user”. A draft law penalising male customers of prostitutes was postponed.
Mr Ghedini is also a deputy for Mr Berlusconi’s ruling party, the People of Liberty, and has a role in framing laws and in defending the Prime Minister. No one has challenged this obvious conflict of interest. It is taken for granted that all aspects of life in Italy are politically coloured — including the Constitutional Court.
Five of the 15 judges ruling on the immunity law are appointed by parliament. Three of those are on the Centre Right, two on the Centre Left. In May Mr Berlusconi was accused by the opposition of trying to nobble the judges when he dined with two of them. Only one, Maria Rita Saulle, 73, is a woman — and whether she shares the distaste felt by many Italian women for Mr Berlusconi over his sex scandals is not known.
For the Prime Minister’s supporters the challenge to the immunity law is part of a fiendish plot. People of Liberty MPs claim that there is a “subversive plan to challenge the will of the people”.
No conspirator forced Mr Berlusconi to go to the 18th birthday party in Naples of Noemi Letizia, an aspiring model, prompting his wife to demand a divorce. No plotter forced him to go to bed with Ms D’Addario, who last week told millions of Italian television viewers that he knew “perfectly well” she was an escort girl.
Equally, the corruption allegations he is likely to face if the immunity law is lifted stem from his own actions. If Mr Berlusconi’s immunity is lifted and he faces prosecution for evading taxes, and for trying to bribe centre-left senators to desert the fragile Government of Romano Prodi, it will be because prosecutors believe that he has broken the law.

Italy’s top court weighs Berlusconi’s immunity

2009-10-06T16:44:00.001+01:00

Could this be the right time? Is Italy finally going to get rid of this pathetic excuse for a Prime Minister? Berluscummy is hanging onto power, he keeps saying that everything is ok but he reminds me of Saddam Hussein (or his cohorts) in their final days. They kept claiming victory after victory against the invading forces… whilst ignoring that the enemy was marching triumphantly towards Baghdad.

This article is published courtesy of the Financial Times:

Italy’s constitutional court on Tuesday morning opened deliberations to decide whether Silvio Berlusconi, prime minister, should continue to enjoy immunity from prosecution under a law passed last year by parliament.
The court – which could come to a decision within the day, or defer its ruling until next week – is to to determine whether the act breaches an article of the constitution making all citizens equal before the law.
A decision against the government would lead to the reopening of at least two court cases involving allegations of corruption against the billionaire prime minister and media entrepreneur. That prospect has triggered widespread speculation of early elections.
In 2004 the court rejected a similar amnesty law passed by Mr Berlusconi’s previous centre-right government. His lawyers said the latest law was passed with amendments that took into consideration the court’s previous ruling.
Legal experts said one option for the constitutional court would be to send the immunity law back to parliament with the advice that the act required approval by a two-thirds majority rather than the simple majority it received last year.
A defiant Mr Berlusconi, elected last year, said on Monday he intended to serve his full term until 2013 in spite of accusations issued by a Milan court in a civil case that he had been “co-responsible” as head of his Fininvest media company for the bribing of a judge in a 1991 court case that resulted in Fininvest beating a rival to acquire the Mondadori publishing house. In 2007, that criminal case against Mr Berlusconi was dropped.
Mr Berlusconi’s supporters on Wednesday dismissed speculation that the government intended to call early elections or that the prime minister would resign and make way for an interim administration headed by technocrats.
“Italians gave a large majority to this government,” Altero Matteoli, infrastrucuture minister, told Sky Italia television. “He is the only prime minister in the world with such a high approval rating in this financial crisis,” he said, adding that he awaited the constitutional court’s ruling with serenity.
Mr Berlusconi has repeatedly accused elements of the Italian judiciary of conspiring against him. The 15 judges of the constitutional court are clearly under pressure as revealed in statements by the prime minister’s aides demanding that they address the legality of the case and not take a political decision. This week’s deliberations were scheduled before the Milan court issued its ruling.
The centre-right government said the immunity law, applied to the four holders of high state office, was necessary to allow Mr Berlusconi to devote himself to running the country.
At the time the law was passed, Mr Berlusconi was a co-defendant in a case in which he was charged with bribing David Mills, his former UK lawyer, to give false testimony to protect him and Fininvest. The trial continued without Mr Berlusconi, and Mr Mills, who has appealed against his conviction, was found guilty in February. Delivering its reasoning in May, the court explicitly accused Mr Berlusconi of being behind the bribe.
Both men pleaded not guilty. Should Mr Berlusconi be stripped of his immunity, then, lawyers say, his trial would start from the beginning under different judges.
Mr Berlusconi was also the defendant in a separate case alleging fraud in the purchase of film rights for Mediaset, his television company. Mr Berlusconi denied wrongdoing.
According to media reports, two other cases against Mr Berlusconi are in their preliminary stages. One involves Mediaset and the other an investigation into whether he tried to corrupt two senators in 2007 to withdraw their support from the then centre-left government led by Romano Prodi with a slim majority.

The final nail in Labour's coffin

2009-10-01T16:58:00.000+01:00

One of the few things that I have learnt in all these years living in Blighty is that the Sun always backs a winner. This paper may be populist, chauvinistic, offensive etc… but you can rest assured that they are pretty quick at sensing the British people’s changing mood and switch its allegiances accordingly.
The country is sick and tired of Gordon Brown and Labour? The recent Labour annual conference was a shambolic, self-praising farce? Hey presto… the Sun’s headline is “LABOUR’S LOST IT”.
Despite all the fighting talk from the PM and his sad ensemble of cohorts, you can bet your bottom dollar that the Tories will win the next general Election. They probably would have won it anyway, even without the Sun’s backing. Next May – with Murdoch’s endorsement –we could see a 1997-style landslide victory.

Who is he trying to fool?

2009-09-29T22:56:00.002+01:00

From the BBC website:
The Prime Minister spoke for just under an hour, ending with an attempt to boost the morale of party members shaken by polls suggesting they are heading for a massive defeat, telling them New Labour was "not done yet".
He urged activists to "dream big dreams and watch our country soar" and "reach inside ourselves for the strength of our convictions" and to "fight" for victory - earning a standing ovation in the hall.
Honestly, who is Brown trying to fool? Himself? His loyal followers (both of them I mean)? The British public?? I know that a week is a long time in politics (so they say) but Labour are dead and buried. There is no way that they are going to win the General Elections next year. The only way for Gordon Brown to avoid a crushing defeat at the polls next year is to step down as PM and hand over the poisoned chalice to someone else. After all Tony Blair played this trick on him when Labour had started to lose support so Brown may as well do the same.

Greedish Airways

2009-09-28T22:44:00.000+01:00

Just before the last weekend I heard that British Airways are going to charge their customers pay to reserve specific seats. Those who want to make sure they sit in a group or have a preference for aisle, window or exit seats will be affected.
This really is what I call scraping the dregs of the barrel. They may as well paint a big harp in blue and yellow on their aircraft and start calling themselves Ryanair... as there will be very little distinction between these two airlines once this ludicrous charge is introduced.
British Airways are not exactly the cheapest airline as it is... now quite frankly I will think long and hard before booking another flight with them as this is just one step too far.

How to sound rather stupid

2009-09-23T21:22:00.001+01:00

“What a fantastic dream to have, to keep winning promotions and get Notts County back into the Premier League”, by Sol Campbell.
For a start, a pedant may argue that Notts County (or any other club for that matter) cannot get back to where they have never been. They have played in the top flight before but the Premiership only started in 1992 and the last time that Notts County were in the top flight was many, many years before, definitely in ‘black and white’ (pun intended, considering these are their club colours).
Anyway it looks like Sol is offski after only one match played for the League Two outfit. So what happened to the dream of winning back-to-back promotions Sol? So much for loyalty to your new fans eh?! A decent footballer you may be but the sharpest tool in the box you ain’t Sol.

Bye-bye Briatore

2009-09-21T21:21:00.001+01:00

To be honest with you I don’t give two hoots about Formula One as a sport. In fact, I don’t even consider it as a sport as – in my opinion – the role of the driver is far too minor compared to the car’s.
Anyway, even though I don’t follow F1, I couldn’t help raising a chuckle today when I heard about the life ban imposed on the above mentioned sleazebag.

Here is an excerpt from the Guardian's website:
The former Renault Formula One managing director Flavio Briatore was today effectively banned from motor sport for life, for his part in a scandal that the sport's governing body said was of "unparalleled severity".
However, the World Motor Sport Council effectively gave Renault a green light to continue in formula one. The team, who chose not to contest Nelson Piquet Jr's claims that he was asked to crash into a wall during the 2008 Singapore grand prix in order to hand an advantage to his team-mate, Fernando Alonso, will be permanently banned only if they commit a "comparable breach" by the end of 2011.
Although unable to take action against Briatore personally, after he left Renault last week, the 26-member WMSC said it would not sanction any event involving him "in any capacity whatsoever".
It also said it would refuse to renew licences to any driver associated with Briatore in any capacity, meaning that all those managed by him will have to extricate themselves from their contracts. They include Alonso, Piquet, Mark Webber and Heikki Kovalainen.

Japanese Matsuri Festival

2009-09-20T20:50:00.001+01:00

Yesterday I went to the Japanese Matsuri Festival in Spitalfields, near Liverpool Street, which featured Japanese art, crafts, food, and various performances. Apparently this festival was held in honour of 150 years of Anglo-Japanese relations.
To say that this event was mobbed from the early afternoon is a major understatement. In hindsight – which we all know is a great thing – the organisers should have arranged to have the stalls spread out over the whole Spitalfields area, not just a section of it.
It’s a shame that it was so popular as I was absolutely looking forward to trying some of the Japanese delicacies on offer. However the queues for any sort of food and drink were humongous and I had no intention of queuing up for 45 minutes so... it’ll have to be next time. Lesson learnt – never brave this sort of events on an empty tummy!
It was also very nice to meet up with Eva and Mark. We bumped into some of our colleagues and their partners and had a nice chat with them. Altogether it was a very pleasant way of spending a sunny afternoon in London.

Basel away

2009-09-19T22:24:00.001+01:00

Got to Basle just before 11am on the Easyjet flight from Gatwick. I was quickly reminded of how efficient the Swiss are as the bus into town left right on time and took exactly 17 minutes as promised. The same journey by taxi would have cost me approx. 40 CHF, which served as a reminder of how bloody expensive that country is.
I was unable to check into my room at the Youth Hostel until 3pm, which incidentally is also when my mates from Rome were meant to arrive in town, so had a little wander by myself around the city centre. Very nice, clean and organised, just as you’d expect a Swiss city to be.
Wherever I go I try to sample the local cuisine, however on this occasion the Basel Building Society had failed to advance the necessary funds for a decent lunch so yours truly had to make do with Turkey’s finest (pide and kebab).
Approaching 3pm, I went back to the Yoof Hostel to check in, and the reception guy cheerily told me that unfortunately I had to wait just five more minutes. I looked at my watch and it was 2.55pm. I thought he was joking.... he wasn’t (sad ‘James Blunt’). Before going to my room, he asked me to follow him into the next room, where I’d be able to pick up my bed sheets. Then he asked me ‘would you like to get a towel as well?’. Unfortunately I think that my sarcasm (‘I’ll take it, you never know, that could come in handy...’) flew well over his cuckoo’s head.
In the end it was a good turnout for the lads from Rome. We had almost 100 in the pub before the match, and another 50 or so joined us outside the ground. I’ll try and post a picture or two this time, I promise.
The least said about the match, the better. AS Roma players had better get their arse in gear or we may be in for just another very long, hard season.

Kenyon out

2009-09-16T20:35:00.003+01:00

From the BBC website:

Chelsea have announced that Peter Kenyon will be leaving his chief executive role at the end of October. Kenyon, who left Manchester United in 2003 to join Chelsea, will continue at the Blues as a non-executive director. The 55-year-old will also continue to represent Chelsea invarious capacities, including committee roles with European governing body Uefa.

Am I being too cynical if I think that 1) there is a strong link between Chelsea's transfer ban and Kenyon's departure?; and 2) he will be completely out of the door within the next 12 months?

Personally I don't think it could have happened to a nicer bloke as I have NEVER liked Kenyon - first and foremost, he's a Manc and I was gobsmacked when Abramovich offered him a job at Chelsea. Secondly I don't think he has any style, he's just a glorified shirt seller FFS. That's what he's good at, that's what he should have kept doing, rather than darkening Chelsea's doorstep.

Made In Italy

2009-09-15T10:33:00.001+01:00

Last Wednesday I went out for dinner with 8 of my colleagues. It was my turn to organise the team dinner so I thought we could do much worse than having some decent affordable Italian food.
I have never had a bad meal at Made In Italy on Kings Road and Wednesday was no exception. The main criticism that this restaurant gets on websites like londoneating.co.uk is about the rudeness of waiters/waitresses. In all fairness though I have to say that I have never been treated badly there. However I am also pretty sure that if I wasn’t Italian and didn’t speak the lingo it would be a completely different matter... but that’s another story.
We managed to leave work quite early so had time for a drink or two in the Cadogan Arms, also on Kings Road. This pub had been renovated quite recently and looks like an upmarket boozer, definitely fitting in in this affluent part of London.
My choice of starter consisted of melanzane alla parmigiana, that would probably score a 7.5 out of 10 on the tasteometer. Maybe just not as good as my mum makes but, still a pretty damn good imitation. Probably the best choice (in terms of starters) was Tom’s who went for a huge, yummy plate of mussels (‘cozze’).
For mains I had some sausage and pepper pizza, which was delicious and deserved a good 8 out of 10. I like pizza here at Made In Italy as it’s just like they... make it in Italy (funnily enough). It’s the real stuff, not the rubbish that’s served in most (fake??) Italian restaurants in London, where they can’t even spell dishes correctly on the menu.
Considering that this restaurant is in the heart of Chelsea, prices are rather reasonable. Also due to the fact that none of us had alcohol, we managed to get change out of £20 each, which is a right result.

Siena v Roma

2009-09-14T14:54:00.000+01:00

La prima vittoria per la AS Roma in questo campionato (a Siena) e' foriera di buone notizie... ma anche di cattive. Cominciamo dalle buone notizie: 1) abbiamo portato a casa 3 punti che ci servivano come il pane; 2) abbiamo vinto su un campo dove l'anno scorso avevamo preso la sveglia, quindi diciamo che sono 3 punti guadagnati rispetto all'anno scorso; 3) hhhhhmmmmm..... anche a raschiare il fondo del barile non riesco proprio a trovare altre buone notizie.
Passiamo velocemente alle cattive notizie?? Abbiamo mostrato un gioco inguardabile per 75 minuti. Ranieri aveva messo tutti in allerta dicendo chiaramente "scordatevi il calcio champagne" ma quello che ho visto e' andato oltre le mie piu' funeste aspettative. Infatti - con l'eccezione dei primi 15 minuti - non si puo' neanche parlare di 'gioco' espresso dalla Roma. Nessuno che attaccava gli spazi, zero automatismi, svariati giocatori ridotti all'ombra di loro stessi.
Ci e' andata bene a Siena, ma mica ci puo' sempre dire bene. Siamo riusciti a segnare due gol negli ultimi 20 minuti quando il Siena ha finito la benzina. Gia' da giovedi' a Basilea bisognera' mostrare qualcosa di piu', altrimenti la nostra avventura in Europa League e' destinata a finire ben presto.

Adebayor - what a self-abuser

2009-09-13T21:13:00.001+01:00

I don’t have much time for neither Man City nor Arsenal, so I think I can have a neutral’s viewpoint on this issue.
What Adebayor did yesterday in Man City’s match vs. Arsenal was nothing short of a disgrace. What point was he trying to make when he ran the whole length of the pitch to go and celebrate his goal in front of the away fans? What a wanker. Apologising in front of the TV cameras is nowhere near good enough in my opinion. Six Arsenal fans were arrested as Adebayor’s celebration sparked a riot in the Arsenal end. Can these six fans just apologise for their behaviour when they’ll sit in court and get away with it? I don’t think so.
Anyway it was obvious that Adebayor had a major axe to grind with his old club as he stamped on Van Persie’s face. Don’t get me wrong, it couldn’t happen to a nicer lad... however you just can’t kick an opposition player in the face like Adebayor did. I hope the FA will have a look at this incident and ban him for a few games.

AFC Wimbledon v Cambridge Utd.

2009-09-12T20:54:00.001+01:00

Today I went to watch to my local ground (Kingsmeadow, 20 minutes walk from my house) to watch AFC Wimbledon play vs Cambridge United. I was in the away end with the Cambridge faithful, approx. 700 of them.
Have to say that the highlight of the day probably was the four pints of Kronenbourg 1664 that I had in the Albert pub, closely followed by a bag of chips from the chippy near the ground. The match ended 0-0, and rightly so as there was no worthy winner. Cambridge had most of the possession for the first hour, whilst AFC got increasingly threatening in the last 30 minutes. Anyway chances were at a premium today so one point each is a just reward for both teams.
I was pleasantly surprised by the attendance of 4,128 fans, which for a non-league match is no mean feat. I bet you that it’s going to be higher than the attendance in most matches in League 2 this weekend.

Tifosi senza un briciolo di dignita'

2009-09-10T22:14:00.000+01:00

Quei circa 500 tifosi della AS Roma che andranno in trasferta a Siena dovrebbero farsi un bell’esame di coscienza e chiedersi se una trasferta a Siena vale la totale perdita di dignita’ da parte loro.
Le condizioni poste da Rosella Sensi (in combutta con la Questura) per poter partecipare a questa trasferta sono una vergogna per ogni tifoso che abbia ancora un minimo di dignita’.
Ma dove sta scritto che se io voglio andare da qualsiasi parte (non solo a Siena) a seguire la mia squadra devo accettare delle condizioni che sono a meta’ strada tra il Cile di Pinochet e la scuola elementare?
Schedatura e rilascio del nulla osta da parte della Questura.... Acquisto del voucher per salire su pullman predisposto dalla AS Roma, affiancati da stewards.... Acquisto del biglietto presso determinate ricevitorie in accordo con la Questura al modico (!!!) prezzo di € 26,50.....
Siete dei tifosi dal cuore di latta – se aveste un minimo di dignita’, dovreste fare come la maggiorparte del popolo romanista che ha votato con i piedi e ha detto a Rosella, alla Questura e a Maroni che a Siena, se vogliono, ci possono andare loro. Noi, questa volta, ce ne restiamo a casa.

Ransacking youth schemes

2009-09-09T14:20:00.002+01:00

I must been mellowing in my old age as (for once) I have to agree 100% with UEFA and FIFA in their recent stance about (big) clubs poaching young players from other (smaller) clubs.
I don't care if these big clubs are called Chelsea or Man United or Toorichtocare FC. Chelsea have been found guilty of inducing a young French player to breach his contract with Lens (his French club) and sign for them instead. The same fate may happen to Man Utd. for a similar incident.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg - Manyoo have been at it for years. It's very nice and righteous for Fergie to complain about Real madrid making illegal approaches for Cristiano Ronaldo when his own club has been ransacking the best talent in youth teams all over Europe and Africa.
Tapping players up.... inducing them to breach their contract.... exploiting loopholes in local laws to their advantage.... all sides of the same coin. It's just unfair and it must be stopped now. Now if clubs can adhere to some self-discipline, fine, otherwise I personally welcome UEFA's and FIFA's intervention to stamp out this unfair/unlawful practises that stink of bullyism and colonialism.

A plea

2009-09-08T21:16:00.001+01:00

So Peter Andre and Jordan have finalised their acrimonious divorce today, after weeks and weeks of mudslinging. Every single detail of their split has been thrust upon us as these two don’t seem to know the meaning of the word ‘privacy’. In fact they are both so publicity-obsessed that they would turn up at the opening of a door.
Anyway now that their shambolic marriage is finally over, can both of them please disappear from the limelight for a little while? Only blondes named Sharon or Courtney are interested in the lives of these two non-entities. The vast majority of us couldn’t give a flying duck about either of them.... so please just go.

Basel

2009-09-07T17:07:00.001+01:00

Following one my recent posts below about forthcoming trips in the Europa League, I made it quite clear that I wasn't very happy with the first trip (to Basel). I am not particularly forward to it as I'm not very keen about Switzerland altogether but didn't provide a reasoned explanation. Now that I have booked my accommodation, I had a good reminder of why I was not very keen on this pretty country.... because it's flippin expensive, that's why!!
40 quid for one night is not usually considered outrageously expensive.... however it is when the night in question is going to be spent at Basel's Yoof Hostel. The room includes the luxury of a sink (!!!) but obviously private facilities were deemed surplus to requirements and therefore done without.

Ja, oui, och aye.... let's cap bonuses for bankers

2009-09-04T09:54:00.003+01:00

In many years in banking I have never earnt a big bonus and chances are I never will, therefore my interest in the pro-bonus vs anti-bonus debate is purely academic. Said that, I think that all this hysteria about capping bonuses is just a load of old bollocks.
The only way a cap on bonuses could possibly work is if it was implemented worldwide - and the chances of it happening are as big as.... well, as those of me getting a big bonus. Do you get the picture??
Anyway this morning I read this editorial in City AM, written by Allister Heath. I think it raises some very interesting points. A word of warning: it doesn't make comfortable reading for those of us working in the City of London.
This article below is courtesy of City AM:

What a waste; what a u-turn. For the past six months, the FSA, the Treasury and many top banks had been beavering away on innovative proposals to reform bonuses. Their idea, which had been gaining influence globally and even been accepted by the Tories, was to retain basic freedom of contract and the incentivising properties of bonuses, while making them less short-term and allowing them to be clawed back if the profits on which they are based eventually turn out to be illusory, subprime-style. The entire endeavour was a bit of a distraction given that no serious economist really believes bonuses were the primary driver of the crisis; but at least it was a calm, level-headed attempt at making financial markets function better.

All of this work has now been thrown away. Gordon Brown, who until a few days ago was an enthusiastic supporter of this measured, reformist approach, and had little time for hysterical opponents of all bonuses, has suddenly switched sides. The Prime Minister is now officially committed to crude, arbitrary limits to compensation, just as he was in the 1980s and 1990s before he grudgingly accepted capitalism. What was left of New Labour finally died yesterday.

The Franco-German letter signed by Brown says it all. “We should explore ways to limit total variable remuneration in a bank either to a certain proportion of total compensation or the bank’s revenues and/or profits”, it says. Yet capping bonuses in this way won’t work, even if every country in the world were foolish enough to sign up. Basic pay would jump; high performers would be given regular pay rises; poor performers would suffer pay cuts or be fired. Bonuses would reappear, albeit in hidden guise. Caps would severely damage efficiency and make banks even more likely to fail. Linking all bonuses to overall profit would make it impossible to reward star performers in loss-making organisations, a recipe for disaster. Even worse, the proposal would only apply to the largest banks, triggering an exodus of bankers to unregulated, smaller firms, hedge funds and start-ups.

The letter states that “our citizens are deeply shocked at the revival of reprehensible practices, despite taxpayers’ money having been mobilised to support the financial sector”, without defining “reprehensible”. Clearly, Brown and his new allies believe in the disgraceful concept of collective punishment: even banks such as HSBC, which didn’t take taxpayer cash, apparently deserve to be punished for the sins of others; individual bankers who weren’t involved in sub-prime lending or other defective practices need to pay for the minority who were (most of whom, by the way, have long since been fired). Brown used the wages and profits of the City to fuel his reckless spending spree; he now appears to consider all big bonuses, even those that don’t endanger stability, as “reprehensible”.

Many argue that nationalised banks should not award large payouts, even to key members of staff who create value for the taxpayer. I disagree – but at least this would be a principled approach. But then why did Brown sign off huge bonus schemes for RBS, a bank he owns? Brown’s inconsistency and hypocrisy are breathtaking.

He has no interest in creating an economy less prone to boom and bust; he just wants to stir up populist hate ahead of next year’s election. Let us hope the Tories have the guts to stand up to him.

I am with Gandalf!!

2009-09-03T22:06:00.004+01:00

I had more than a few doubts when Ancelotti joined Chelsea. Whilst he was a superb player (and AS Roma skipper to boot), he never particularly impressed me as manager. However having seen Chelsea since the start of the season, good old Carlo seems to have taken to the English Premiership like a duck to water.
Gandalf, if there's a slice of humble pie going spare, you can send it my way...

Vergogna

2009-09-02T14:01:00.002+01:00

A seguito delle dimissioni/esonero di Spalletti, ci sono molte, moltissime persone che a Roma si dovrebbero vergognare per quello che e' successo.
Siamo - e dico siamo in senso molto lato, non perche' io mi senta responsabile - riusciti a mandare via un allenatore che ci ha fatto giocare per lunghi tratti il calcio migliore d'Italia e probabilmente tra i migliori d'Europa. Con risorse limitate, siamo entrati per 2 anni consecutivi ai quarti di finale di Champions League e abbiamo pure portato a casa qualche trofeo. Ora quanto dovremo aspettare prima di vedere ancora l'AS Roma giocare bene? E quando rivinceremo un altro trofeo? Spalletti se ne e' andato da vero signore, quale e', senza sbattere la porta, gettando in faccia a questa societa' di peracottari l'ingaggio che avrebbe dovuto percepire per i prossimi due anni. Comunque tornando al punto iniziale, ecco chi e' che si dovrebbe vergognare, in ordine di gravita':

LA SOCIETA': la AS Roma e' una societa' allo sbando, senza uno straccio di comunicazione o di pianificazione.... e senza un euro da poter spendere. La sessione di calciomercato che si e' appena conclusa e' stata una vera e propria umiliazione per noi tifosi. Giocatori sfilati sotto al naso sia in Italia che in Europa.... e noi sempre a cercare di fare le nozze coi fichi secchi, sempre ad elemosinare gli scarti degli altri. Persino uno Zamparini qualsiasi si permette di prenderci in giro e dire che non abbiamo una lira.... e noi sempre zitti. Alla fine ci siamo ridotti a prendere un portiere infortunato (!!!) ed un giovanotto di neanche troppo belle speranze. Questa e' una vera e propria presa per i fondelli ai danni della squadra. dell'allenatore e di tutto l'ambiente giallorosso.

LA SQUADRA: ci sono fin troppi giocatori della Roma che dovrebbero baciare la terra dove cammina Spalletti. Giocatori normali se non mediocri arrivati in Nazionale o alle sue porte grazie al gioco espresso dalla Roma e quindi grazie a Spalletti. E chi invece in Nazionale gia' ci stava.... si dovrebbe vergognare ancora di piu'. Quante volte abbiamo sentito di giocatori che chiedono alla societa' di tenere un allenatore in profumo di esonero? No, queste cose non succedono alla AS Roma. Alla Roma abbiamo giocatori che firmano contratti per 5 anni e ci fanno pure la grazia di ridursi lo stipendio a 4 milioni all'anno. Alla Roma abbiamo giocatori che nelle ultime due partite (Kosice e Juventus) si mangiano 4-5 occasioni soli davanti al portiere e poi protestano pure quando l'allenatore gli chiede di rientrare e dare una mano alla squadra.

I TIFOSI 'GIORNALISTI': a prescindere dal fatto che io chiuderei col fuoco tutte quelle radio private che forniscono ai tifosi di professione un palcoscenico virtuale per mezzo di tutte queste trasmissioni..... vergogna a tutti quei tifosi di professione per aver fatto a pezzi Spalletti lunedi' all'indomani della sconfitta con la Juve. Perche' invece non ve la prendete con quella scimmia vestita da donna che sta mortificando una citta' intera? Perche' non ve la prendete con quei giocatori che con il loro non-comportamento in campo hanno fatto si' che Spalletti si sentisse abbandonato?

Io purtroppo mi ricordo ancora in che stato penoso era la Roma prima che arrivasse Spalletti..... l'anno dei 4 allenatori..... disciplina inesistente nello spogliatoio..... per cui non posso non essere dispiaciuto per l'allontanamento del grande Luciano. L'unica speranza e' di rivederlo sulla panchina della Roma un giorno (non troppo lontano) con una nuova proprieta' che gli possa assicurare degli acquisti adeguati, senza dover andare a disturbare Lobont e Zamblera.

Presi in giro

2009-09-01T13:44:00.001+01:00

Sotto riporto la maggiorparte dell'editoriale di Luigi Ferrajolo (pubblicato sul Corriere dello Sport di oggi) che mi trova d'accordo per ampi tratti. Vorrei solo aggiungere un paio di commenti personali a tale articolo.
LF sotto dice che Spalletti era gia' vicino alle dimissioni a luglio, rientrate poi dopo un colloquio con Rosella Sensi. Hhhhmmm.... magari gli sono state fatte alcune promesse riguardo il mercato in entrata che poi PUNTUALMENTE non sono state mantenute??
LF aggiunge anche che Spalletti ultimamente ha dato segni di insofferenza, prendendosela prima con la società e poi domenica scorsa con la squadra. Forse sono fatto all'antica, ma se il Capitone della mia squadra si mette a fare i colpetti di tacco nelle situazioni meno adatte, anche io - come Spalletti - mi incazzo. Se il Capitone si mangia 3 o 4 gol solo davanti al portiere nelle ultime due partite, forse anche io (al posto di Spalletti) potrei ragionevolmente pensare che la squadra mi vuole fare fuori.

Cruz ha preferito la Lazio, Crespo il Genoa. Negredo è andato al Siviglia, Pavlyuchenko è rimasto dov’era, al Tottenham. Anche Fred non si è mosso e persino Ghezzal sta benone a Siena. E’ arrivato invece Fabio Zamblera, 19 anni, bergamasco del Newcastle. E’ questa la punta che aspettava Spalletti, è questa la punta che cercava la Roma! Noi crediamo che ci sia un limite a tutto, superarlo non è segno di intelligenza. Che non ci fossero soldi si sapeva e da un pezzo e che per la Roma questo sarebbe stato un mercato di lacrime, anche. Che la società avesse bisogno di vendere Aquilani e magari anche un altro titolare di grido, era scontato, anche se doloroso. Che bisognasse preparasi al peggio e non credere troppo alle favole, anche. Che l’ultima pista disperata di Van Nistelrooy, peraltro lungodegente, promettesse poco era nell’aria. La società dice che ci ha provato sino alla fine e sarà pure vero, ma chiudere il mercato con Zamblera ci sembra uno sberleffo insopportabile, quasi una sfida alla pazienza e alla passione dei tifosi.
Ma sicuro, Zamblera non andrà da Spalletti, giocherà, a quanto pare, nella Primavera. Siamo felici per il papà di De Rossi, ma l’attaccante di peso, la prima punta di cui si blatera da anni, non serviva alla prima squadra?
Per Spalletti, in compenso ci sarà Lobont. Un portiere che non sarebbe nemmeno tanto male, se non fosse reduce da un intervento ai crociati. La Roma sapeva da maggio che avrebbe dovuto rinunciare a Doni per cinque, sei mesi. Non aver trovato sinora un dignitoso sostituto è molto grave, si conosceva bene il valore di Artur e Julio Sergio, prendere ora Lobont, che viene da un infortunio molto serio e che potrà esser pronto solo tra qualche settimana, sembra un’altra provocazione, più che una soluzione. Il mercatone della Roma si chiude, dunque, con la cessione di Aquilani e l’arrivo di Burdisso, cioè del quinto difensore dell’Inter, concesso generosamente da Moratti: dire troppo poco, è dire niente. Ormai la Roma è una società stremata, prossima alla paralisi: pensare che possa andare ancora avanti così per un’altra stagione è quasi folle. Il mercato però potrebbe riaprirsi all’improvviso, sia pur solo per la panchina.
Dopo la batosta con la Juve circolano voci insistenti: Spalletti sta pensando seriamente di dimettersi e la società, a sua volta, cerca il sostituto, con Ranieri davanti a tutti. Spalletti in queste settimane ha dato segni evidenti di insofferenza: se l’è presa prima con la società, domenica con la squadra. Spesso anche con se stesso. Che sia insoddisfatto, deluso, per i mancati arrivi è comprensibile, ma questo non giustifica il suo smarrimento, l’atteggiamento di chi si sente solo contro tutti, sempre in guerra col prossimo. E’ una situazione torbida che va avanti da tempo: già in estate si è parlato di un divorzio, poi è bastato un colloquio con la dottoressa Sensi per evitarlo.

Cominciamo a guardarci dietro...

2009-08-31T20:59:00.003+01:00

2 partite e zero punti per l'AS Roma. Nessuna sorpresa in tutto cio' in virtu' di un calendario non molto agevole ma sopratutto 'grazie' all'improvvisazione con cui Spalletti e la squadra devono combattere tutti i giorni.

Si e' anche chiuso il mercato estivo e OVVIAMENTE di acquisti in grado di fare la differenza, manco se ne parla. Cosi' ora quella stronza di Rosella Sensi potrebbe cominciare a spiegarci dove sono finiti i 20 milioni e passa che abbiamo preso dal Liverpool per Aquilani. Dove sono finiti quei soldi? Sono serviti a far indietreggiare di qualche metro Unicredit, che vuole rientrare del suo credito nei contronti di Italpetroli? O quei soldi sono invece serviti a pagare lo stipendio milionario di Rosella Sensi e della sua corte dei miracoli (Prade' + Conti + Tempestilli)? Perche' non va mai scordato che mentre i giocatori hanno le loro entrate (giustamente) rapportate al raggiungimento di risultati sportivi, questa merda umana (R.Sensi) prende il suo stipendio a prescindere.

Mi sembra ovvio che questa situazione non puo' andare avanti a lungo. Con una tifoseria sull'orlo della crisi di nervi ed un allenatore che sta giustamente mostrando fin troppi segni d'insofferenza, ma che aspetta questa zoccola a cedere la mano a chi ha qualche soldo da investire? Ma che e' della Lazio per davvero??

Chewing a wasp... not funny, not nice

2009-08-30T21:38:00.003+01:00

Now I know how the proverbial bulldog felt when he chewed a wasp... what a freaky accident.

I literally did that yesterday at this nice BBQ in Carshalton Beeches. Was about to finish eating a very tasty burger when I felt this thing in my mouth. I was pretty sure that I didn't have any food left in my mouth but then noticed this little 'bit' so I chewed. All of a sudden I felt like a pinch to my tongue, followed by some rather intense pain.

I was still none the wiser... it's only when I touched my tongue that I realised exactly what had really happened. For the rest of the day the feeling was that my tongue had turned into a 2kg steak and about to fall out of my mouth sooner rather than later.

Bank Holiday Weekend

2009-08-29T12:54:00.003+01:00

I can't believe that it's the end of the summer already... well almost. At least it looks like we are going to have some nice weather.
BBQ at Shells & Des today: cider.... check; homemade coffee ice cream.... check (and very nice it is as well!!); Streetmap printout.... check; train timetable printout.... check; iPhone.... check; piggles in the garden.... check.
In Sainsbury's I went for the strongest types of cider... it could get a bit messy. When I made the coffee ice cream last night, I (inadvertedly of course...) tipped a little bit of dark rum in the the mix... oops. Let's go!!

Europa League - the draw

2009-08-28T22:50:00.002+01:00

After 2 preliminary rounds in the Europa League, in which AS Roma managed to win respectively 10-2 and 10-4 on aggregate vs. sub-standard opposition, today we got to the long awaited draw for the Group stage, to be played over 6 games between September and December.
With AS Roma in Pot 1, along with all the other top seeds, all the possible permutations from the other lower-ranked pots offered some really mouth-watering prospects; lots of teams that you’d never get the chance to play in the Champions League, new destinations, new stadia etc..
After all I suppose that our draw was ok... could have been better, could have been worse. At least we avoided a trip to Israel (too far, too expensive, too.... not European at all) or other countries where you’d need a visa to get into. More in detail, we got the following teams:

1) from Pot 2, we got Basel FC. Not overly keen on a trip to this city in the German-speaking part of the country. For some reason Switzerland never did too much for me. It may be beautiful and clean but also very expensive. I dunno, I’d always prefer a trip to neighbouring Austria for example. Anyway, I have never been to Basel before so, all said and done, our first away trip is there in mid-September. Thanks to Easyjet, managed to limit the damage to £64, not bad indeed.

2) From Pot 3 we picked Fulham and this is a major disappointment. I mean, there were so many possible trips to Eastern Europe (Prague or Zagreb would have been excellent)... and we get poxy Fulham?? Looking on the bright side, at least it’s an ‘away’ game (to be played in late October) that will cost me zilch to get to. Apart from that, I can’t find any other positives. We should bring quite a few Roma lads for this match, as – being in London – you never know who’s going to turn up for the other side. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

3) Finally we got some joy from Pot 4 as we picked CSKA Sofia. Absolutely delighted with it – we have never played against this opposition and personally I have never been to Bulgaria before it’s good news all round. Had a quick gander on the Net and it looks like Stelios once again will be the carrier of choice for the last trip in the group stage in mid-December. If I book early, I could get a return ticket for less than £70, which considering the current state of my finances, is welcome news.

BBBB (Bye Bye Big Brother)

2009-08-27T14:13:00.001+01:00

C4 have stated that Big Brother finish in 2010, with the 11th series, because of consistently poor viewing figures for the current show. Ha!!! Was I right or was I right?! Not that it happens very often, mind.....
On the 8th of June, I said on this blog "I wouldn't be surprised (or disappointed for that matter) at all if this happens to be the last edition of BB". You don't have to be Nostradamus to predict the beginning of the end for a programme that's become too stale, not to say just effin boring.
Obviously C4 couldn't halp putting some spin on this welcome announcement, adding that "the decision is a creative rather than commercial one". Yeah right LOL!! We are not all as thick as Jade Goody you know.... if showing some idiot taking a Number 2 would attract a huge audience (and BB pushed the boundaries of good taste far too many times), I'm sure that C4 would suddenly discover some 'creative merits' in it and give it a prime time slot.

Strictly Come Laughing

2009-08-26T21:29:00.006+01:00

The Beeb have just revealed the line up for Strictly Come Dancing, whose new series starts next month. I will openly admit that I don’t mind watching this programme, provided it’s in small doses. Primarily I watch it because I usually like the tunes that they dance to. Then I also enjoy to hear what the judges have to say about the dancing and, last but not least, because of the totty factor of course.
Anyway I have to say that there two professional dancers that I really dislike, and they are Vincent Simone and Brendan Cole. Why am I not keen on them? Because they give me the distinct impression that they’d go for anything in a skirt... in other words they look two sleazy bastards to me!!
Last year Vincent Simone was all over Rachel Stevens like a bad rash, he salivated all over her like there was no tomorrow. Therefore I had a bloody good laugh yesterday when I heard that this sleazebag has been paired with Natalie Cassidy, aka the Mighty Minger off Eastenders. Let’s see if you grin like a Cheshire cat in this year’s series as well, Dirty Vinny...

Stones and glass houses

2009-08-25T17:08:00.000+01:00

I would like to add my tuppence worth regarding the controversy surrounding the release on compassionate grounds of Al Maghrahi, convicted for the Lockerbie attack.
In my humble opinion the only people that should have been allowed a say in the matter are not the Scottish government but the victims' families. If their majority had agreed to let Al Megrahi go and die in his country, then so be it. However if their majority were against it, then Al Megrahi should have stayed in his Scottish cell until the very end.
What I totally disagree with though is the US interfering into this matter. All this criticism coming from Washington stinks of double standards to me. Al Megrahi was tried and convicted for the Lockerbie bombing, At least here in Britain we don't put people behind bars or in a cage for years without a proper trial (Guantanamo Bay anyone?).
And is this the same US Government who wants the extradition of a British geek suffering from Asperger's syndrome for hacking into the Pentagon's computer systems?? He's just a geek, for crying out loud. I think you scared him enough... now leave him alone, or maybe even better, give him a job so he may protect you from other hackers' attacks.

Upgrading to iPhone 3GS

2009-08-24T17:06:00.000+01:00

Browsing the O2 website, I found out that existing Pay Monthly customers can choose one of the three following options to upgrade to iPhone 3GS. I still have to understand why I would want an upgrade.... but that's for another day. At the moment all I know I do want an upgrade!
Option 1: purchase the iPhone 3GS on Pay & Go - well, if I had all this money to burn, I would have got a new phone already, thank you very much.... next....
Option 2: pay the remainder of your monthly line rental in one payment and sign a new Pay Monthly contract - ditto as above. this option includes the P word ('pay') therefore I no like.
Option 3: wait until eligible for an upgrade - I may already be eligible but if not, all O2 Pay Monthly customers are part of O2 Priority List and those paying £35 or more a month (and I do), have the opportunity to upgrade early. Customers won't have to see out the full term of their existing contract before being eligible for an upgrade. More in detail, all customers continually spending over a minimum of £50.00 a month, receive a 3 month early upgrade.
In other words, my next step is visiting an O2 shop to find out if I'm available for a FREE upgrade....

Nuova stagione, vecchi problemi

2009-08-23T21:37:00.003+01:00

E' ricominciato il campionato di Serie A e, come prevedibile, la Roma ha incassato la prima sconfitta. D'altronde, cosa ci si puo' aspettare da una squadra con un organico limitato in qualita' e in quantita'? Quando persino l'allenatore ti dice che 'navighiamo a vista' quali obiettivi ti puoi fissare? Ma e' possibile che abbiamo sempre un numero spropositato di giocatori fuori squadra per infortunio?

Ci sono ancora 8 giorni prima che chiuda il mercato estivo - vogliamo aspettare una sonora sconfitta interna con la Juve domenica prossima prima di mettere mano al portafoglio?

Purtroppo si raccoglie quel che si semina e quando gestisci una societa' (ed una squadra) con criteri dilettantistici, questi sono i risultati. Vorrei tanto sbagliarmi ma ci aspetta un'altra stagione piena di amarezze.

Ora piu' che mai... ROSELLA SENSI VATTENE.

Premiership highlights - 22 Aug. 09

2009-08-22T23:48:00.004+01:00

Here are today's highlights...

Man City's total inability to stick the ball in the net. Some of the chances that they missed vs Wolves beggared belief. The words 'cow', 'arse' and 'banjo' spring to mind. The match could (and should) have finished 8-1. City were almost punished for their profligacy in the end when Wolves hit the bar with only minutes to spare. That would have been incredibly funny.

Talking of profligacy in front of the goal, Blackburn's Kalinic is a hard act to follow. He fluffed at least 3 shots being under no pressure from a Sunderland defender. I can't stop laughing when I think that Sam Allardyce paid £6m for this dud. I would have been annoyed if I had paid 5 quid and a packet of crisps for him, let alone 6 big ones.

On a final note, interesting to see Portsmouth's implosion. With only 3 games played in the Premiership, they already look a certainty for the drop. Totally inept at the back, toothless going forward. Their supposed takeover by new owners must have been the longest one in football history. What are they waiting for?? If they don't act soon, Pompey will be relegated by Christmas. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, mind you.

Once a chav, always a chav

2009-08-21T23:36:00.004+01:00

Coleen Rooney held a party at her house so friends and family could watch her baby scan live. Coleen and Wayne hired an ultrasound scanning machine, allowing guests at their Cheshire mansion to watch the baby, due next month, on a video screen.

No matter how much money you have, you just can't buy style....

Him or her??

2009-08-20T21:20:00.005+01:00

This incredibly feminine athlete is Caster Semenya, the new 800m world champion. Outrageously Ms Semenya - a sexy 18 year old from South Africa - has been asked to take a gender test, according to athletics' governing body.
The IAAF says it demanded the test three weeks ago amid fears she should not be able to run as a woman.
Are the IAAF blind? I mean... do you need a test to tell you that the rather aptly named Semenya is a bloke?!?
According to the IAAF, "The gender verification test is an extremely complex procedure. The situation today is that we do not have any conclusive evidence that she should not be allowed to run" and "the extremely complex, difficult test results were not due for several weeks".
Ok, I'm no sex reassignment surgeon (thank God) but how can it take weeks to check if someone has still got blokeish appendages??
And - without beating around the bush - even if said bloke had his meat and two veg chopped off, surely it can't take weeks to check if her (new??) bits were made in her mama's womb or in an operating theatre??

Twat alert

2009-08-19T21:34:00.002+01:00

I read in the papers today that the plonker shown above (Peter Andre) is going to be on the ITV show “I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here” later this year.
I will openly admit that I enjoy watching this programme as it provides light entertainment and doesn’t require you to engage your brain, which is pretty ideal after a mind-numbing day at work.
Why, oh why does this publicity-seeking idiot have to feature on this show?? Watching him salivate over Katie Price 5 years ago was so cringeworthy and vomit-inducing... whatever nice bit of skirt the programme producers are going to bring in (and you just know that there is going to be at least one), you can bet your last penny that this self-obsessed plonker will be all over her like a rash.

What's worrying Berlusconi?

2009-08-18T22:06:00.002+01:00

What’s disturbing his dreams, apart from the events with the women, the escorts, or rather let’s call them prostitutes, that are giving movement to our spring and summer? Probably one of the reasons for his worrying is the re-opening of the investigations into the secret instigators of the slaughters and the emergence of that famous letter, in fact of the three famous letters: famous for us who have talked about them here on Passaparola, famous for very few of those who have seen TV News, given that they have never heard tell the truth not even in many of the great newspapers, apart from the odd one, there is this: the famous letters from Provenzano to our beloved PM.

But there are also a couple of new things that have popped up in Milan and that are really not well known: as far as I know it’s only been Luigi Ferrarella once in Il Corriere della Sera to talk about this and also Paolo Biondani and Vittorio Malagutti in L’Espresso. One is the Mediatrade investigation and the other is the investigation into Lugano’s Arner Bank. I’ll explain and I’ll try to do it quickly, because these are investigations that are not covered by the Lodo Alfano. As you know the Lodo Alfano relates only to trials and thus the investigations against the top positions can still be done. There are 6 trials against Berlusconi that are blocked: the Mills trial for Berlusconi and the trial for the buying and selling of Mediaset rights (in which Il Cavaliere is accused of false accounting, tax fraud and embezzlement) is blocked whereas the investigations can still go on. Well, things are coming to a conclusion, for the end of the time frame for the investigations into Mediatrade. What is Mediatrade? It is a company that is controlled by the Berlusconi group that since 1999 has the task of purchasing the rights for the broadcast of TV and film programmes on Fininvest networks, rights that are bought above all in the United States, from the Major companies in Hollywood. Before these rights were bought for the Group by a company in Malta, the IMS and now since 1999 they have been bought by Mediatrade.

Consequently, the Mediatrade case is a separate issue and it relates to the buying and selling of TV rights. We have already explained on other occasions how, according to the accusation, this happened: if the one buying the films, the TV programmes the fiction and so on is the company Fininvest first and then Mediaset, the price is established and that’s the end of it. However, according to the accusation, what did Fininvest do and then what did Mediaset do? They got the films bought by an offshore company in the tax havens. These companies were secretly controlled by the Group and thus they didn’t appear to be part of the Group and thus the films, each time there was a change of ownership, had an increase in price: a fictitious increase that went on to create a gigantic supply of secret funds, that then were distributed to the various companies that in a chain system passed these films from one to the other. The first bought at 10, the second at 15, the third at 30, the fourth and the fifth and in the end, when they arrived at the final destination, the final user as we can call them, they had a value that was much higher than they were really worth and all the rest got sat upon in the form of secret funds, unknown to the tax authorities, and flying in the face of transparency of the accounts to go and provide supplies to these great big lungs of secret funds, and it is considered that it was Berlusconi who was really the final user, because he is accused of embezzlement, that is of having stolen from the cash supplies of his own companies, that are also partly quoted on the Stock Exchange, as well as not having paid the taxes and for having falsified the accounts, according to the hypothesis put forward in the accusation.

No agli abusi di potere

2009-08-17T23:43:00.001+01:00

Proteggiamo la libera informazione dagli abusi di potere

Premiership highlights - 16 Aug. 09

2009-08-16T21:53:00.001+01:00

The new season kicked off yesterday and these are the highlights as far as I’m concerned...

Marcus Bent made his debut for Sunderland. The same Marcus Bent that couldn’t score in a brothel whilst playing for Tottenham, took only five minutes (five) to open his account for the Black Cats.

David Moyes at Everton is looking for a new shoemaker on Merseyside after half of his Everton team were provided with concrete boots (rather than standard leather football boots) before their match with Arsenal. Whilst Lescott is trying to secure a move to multi-millionaire Man City, I have to assume that at least five of his current teammates are keen to impress Madame Tussauds.

Whilst we are on the subject of unusual football footwear, I can only think that both Andy Johnson and Ted Nugent wore moccasins during Pompey v Fulham, judging by the quality of their finishing. Don’t expect a call from Signor Capello anytime soon guys.

Aquilani (2)

2009-08-15T12:10:00.003+01:00

Aquilani al Liverpool: "Alla Roma mi hanno curato male"

In un'intervista al Daily Mail Alberto Aquilani parla del settore medico della Roma con parole non proprio al miele: "Mi rendo conto, ora che il modo in cui sono state fatte alcune cose in Italia, non è andato a mio favore. Ad esempio, questo mio problema alla caviglia è stato inizialmente trascurato dalla Roma. All’inizio mi hanno detto che era solo un piccolo infortunio e che potevo continuare a giocare ma poi si è reso necessario un intervento chirurgico. Il problema è che il dottore cambiava sempre”. Ma ora tutto è cambiato: "Sono così felice di essere qui da un punto di vista calcistico, ma anche per il mio benessere, perché ho già notato la differenza. I medici mi hanno detto di non correre – conclude - perché in questo modo evito la possibilità di ricadute".

Adesso mettece 'na pezza.... questo e' quello che succede quando una societa' come l'AS Roma e' gestita in maniera dilettantistica. Ma e' possibile che nessuno si prenda delle responsabilita' per l'incompetenza del settore medico? E Rosella Sensi il milione e passa di Euro all'anno per quale motivo lo prende? Per comparire in TV solo quelle poche volte che vinciamo?

PS. e se la foto sopra non vi fa male, avete proprio il cuore di latta

Aquilani

2009-08-13T23:00:00.003+01:00

Vedere Aquilani sorridere oggi mentre indossava la maglia del Liverpool e' una cosa che mi ha fatto piuttosto male. Visto che ci siamo, diciamo anche che mi ha fatto incazzare di brutto.

Ma io mica ce l'ho con lui. Aquilani che colpa ne ha? Per quello che ne so, lui non ha chiesto di essere venduto.

Io ce l'ho con quella cagna rognosa che risponde al nome di Rosella Sensi. Brutta maiala, hai venduto agli stranieri un figlio di Roma. Tu ti dovresti vergognare solo ad uscire di casa.

Tu come fai a dire alla stampa soggiogata che la tua famiglia non mangia con la Roma? E lo stipendio da oltre un milione di Euro all'anno chi lo prende allora? E quello non e' "mangiare con la Roma" secondo te?

Shame on you

2009-08-12T20:34:00.004+01:00

Alan Duncan, a Tory frontbencher, is the sort of MP that gives Parliament a bad name. He was in the papers today for very much the wrong reasons. If the Tories want to give themselves a new, clean image, they should get rid of these idiots who are totally on a different planet from the rest of us.

1) He has said that MPs are being treated like sh.it and forced to live on “rations” following the expenses scandal.
2) He rejected criticism of his decision to claim thousands of pounds for gardening bills at his second home in his constituency of Rutland, saying that “the world has gone mad”.
3) Alan Duncan repaid £5,000 (wow! Don't push the boat out!) after The Daily Telegraph revealed that the Commons fees office questioned whether his claims “could be considered excessive.”

Later in a statement, Mr Duncan said: "The last thing people want to hear is an MP whingeing about his pay and conditions (no sh.it Sherlock...)
"It is a huge honour to be an MP and my remarks, although meant in jest, were completely uncalled for. I apologise for them unreservedly."

Well, I don't think I'm being too harsh here but in my opinion David Cameron should have a quiet word with Alan Duncan and urge him to stand down before the next General Elections.

RIP Pippo

2009-08-11T22:51:00.005+01:00

We gave you lots of love and green beans.... you gave us lots of laughs and happiness.
I hope that you can find plenty of your favourite dandelion up there in piggle heaven.
Will miss you very much - rest in peace, little Pipster :(

Another conspiracy?

2009-08-11T13:37:00.002+01:00

Will Berluscummy now tell us that the notoriously conservative Daily Telegraph has joined the left-wing conspiracy against him? What a joke....
The article below is courtesy of the Daily Telegraph:

Italian at centre of allegations about Silvio Berlusconi's love life claims she has been destroyed

Patrizia D'Addario lashed out at attempts to destroy her reputation by Mr Berlusconi's allies since she revealed salacious details emerged of the night she alleges to have spent with the prime minister in his palazzo in Rome. "I'm the only one who is telling the truth and by doing so I've become a Joan of Arc," she told the Daily Telegraph at a five star hotel in her hometown of Bari, a port on the Adriatic Sea. "I'm being sacrificed to a wicked and evil system. But I have courage and they will never break me. I have so much will to go on in life that they will never stop me. I could have blackmailed Berlusconi but I chose not to."
Pressed for details on the encounter, she said: "All I can say is that he was a likeable person. And we didn't get any sleep that night." Miss D'Addario initially refused to answer questions on the encounter but in recent weeks has put her side of the story during trips to Turkey, Spain and France. She hosted an evening entitled I Love Silvio at a Paris nightclub.
She has spent the last few weeks writing an autobiography which, she says, will offer more explosive details of her alleged relationship with Mr Berlusconi. "I've called it 'La Mia Vita' (My Life) and it's nearly finished," she said. "I was able to work hard on it because I haven't been going out and I haven't been sleeping much."
Mr Berlusconi's penchant for catapulting attractive young actresses into politics was a "strange" way of running a democracy, she conceded. "It may seem strange to foreigners but in Italy it's normal," she said. "It's a world of convenience, of favours." Before becoming involved in a scandal that has rocked Mr Berlusconi's centre-right government, Miss D'Addario earned a living as a high-end escort and as an events promoter, lending a touch of glamour to corporate parties and nightclub events.
As Mr Berlusconi began his annual holiday at his villa in Sardinia, she told the Daily Telegraph that she could no longer find work as an escort or model in Italy and that she wants to start a new life in London. Wearing a tight black dress and with dark sunglasses holding back her long blonde hair, Miss D'Addario burst into tears when she described how her 14-year-old daughter had refused to speak to her for the past two months. But the two were reconciled at the weekend, after Miss D'Addario travelled to Istanbul to give interviews to Turkish television and reporters. "She said 'I love you, Mummy, I'm proud of you, be strong."
She said she was in fear of her life earlier this year after a car slammed into her vehicle and raced off without stopping, and a mysterious burglary in which she claims CDs, tapes and the underwear and dress she wore on the night of her encounter with Mr Berlusconi were stolen. "It's very hard because for two months I've been massacred, but now I hope I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't believe anything else bad will happen to me, because of the all the attention the international media have given this whole affair," she said. Asked if she thought Mr Berlusconi should resign over the series of scandals involving young starlets and showgirls that have battered him since May, she said: "That's up to other people to judge. For me, an apology would be enough."

Alitalia up to their old tricks

2009-08-10T15:51:00.001+01:00

I flew Alitalia this weekend for my usual trip back to Rome. I hadn't flown them in a while so I was a bit worried that things might have been a bit different.
However I can reassure you that some things never change: the flight back from Rome to Heathrow was 1h15m late.
The excuse for this delay this time was that a seagull had hit the plane (or the other way around) during its descent into Fiumicino. Therefore they had to line up a different aircraft as the original 'big bird' had to undergo several checks.
This excuse might be 100% true for all I know (or care), however Alitalia have gained such an expertise in the art of bullshitting that now I always take everything they say with a fistful of salt.

Obviously when we boarded our flight, the crew didn't even remotely think of making a nice little goodwill gesture, like offering a glass of water to their passengers. Is that too much to think of? And anyway.... we do understand the (alleged) reason for the delay, but what happened to the poor seagull?? Is he making a speedy recovery?!? Again, no information available.

Gent away

2009-08-07T21:47:00.001+01:00

Took the Eurostar to Brussels on Thursday morning and got there at 11.30. After checking into my 1/2 star hotel, I caught up with my mate Andrea near the Grand Place for a few beers and some excellent carbonnade (A Belgian beef stew). It was great to catch up with him over a few Belgian ales in the baking sun. Yes, it was baking hot so having all those beers wasn’t the greatest idea.
In the afternoon we took the train to Gent, where we caught up with the rest of the troops that had arrived via Charleroi. Went to an Irish pub by the river, very picturesque setting. I bet there must be an Irish pub even at the North Pole. Most of the same old faces were there, more drinks, a great time was had by all. We had about 30-40 guys there, which for a match in the middle of the holiday season isn’t too bad, or is it?!
I have to admit that I was surprised by how beautiful Gent is. All you hear about Belgium (apart from Brussels that is) is Bruges this, Bruges that... but I think Gent can give Bruges a run for its money. Lots of Flemish charm, cobbled streets, pretty little squares, definitely worth a weekend trip.
We decided to make our way to the match by tram as the ground was far too distant, almost out of town on the east side. Got there with very few minutes to spare and little or no bother from the locals. It’s a cosy little ground with the stands almost on top of the players. The final score was 7-1 to AS Roma although the match was virtually over by half-time when the score was 1-0 to us and Gent had a mouthy butcher, pardon a defender, sent off by the ref.
There were a few hairy moments after the match when some of the locals probably weren’t too happy (about the final result??) and were looking for some sort of revenge but all ended well when our contingent made it back into town. Funny how our 40-strong contingent quickly shrank to almost half of that as soon as we heard that the locals were on the warpath!!
Back in Brussels thanks to a car lift from the lads, I woke up this morning and took it pretty easy. Enjoyed more sunshine, taking in all the sights (brunettes, blondes etc...) that Brussels has to offer. No beer for me though as I still felt rather dehydrated so just plenty of water and the occasional Coke.

Tamarai

2009-08-05T15:06:00.000+01:00

Went out for a nice meal with my colleagues after work yesterday. The restaurant in question was Tamarai, a kind of Pan-Asian eaterie on Drury Lane.
Before dinner we met up in a pub just opposite the restaurant, called The Sun. Decent selection of beers and friendly service. On the wall they have a board, enlisting Oliver Reed among the Sun's famous patrons. Thinking about it, probably there aren't many London pubs whose doorstep hasn't been darkened by this famous drinker-cum-actor.
When we finally got to the restaurant I feared the worst for my wallet. The eating area is in a basement - dimmed lights, lounge music.... the warning signs were all there and screaming at me. I thought it was going to be one of those places where you pay a small fortune, only to get a gigantic plate put in fron of you with very little food right in the middle.
I was already resigned to getting a falafel wrap at Waterloo on the way home to subside my hunger, however I was pleasantly surprised. Portions were averagely sized and the food was well-above average.
For starters, I shared with Eva some hoisin duck spring rolls which were delicious - light and crispy pastry filled with incredibly tasty meat. For main course I opted for a vegetable red curry with a side order of garlic fried rice. Very succulent indeed. The curry was well spicy but you could still taste the coconut milk, of which there was plenty!
The fact that we were on a 50% off your food bill deal helped matters of course so the damage was limited to £20 each. The service was very courteous and professional. Between starter and main course, they serve you a fruit sorbet (nice touch) and before the starter gets served they also give you a little crouton with a tiny bit of warm duck liver on it.

Waterloo

2009-08-03T22:26:00.003+01:00

I was out for a drink with my mate Andy tonight after work and, as usual, we met up at the Fire Station on Waterloo Road. The fact that this distinctly average pub is one of the best in the area speaks volumes in itself.
Anyway what really annoyed me was the fact that in less than 2 hours we were bothered by 6 or 7 vagrants / drunks / good-for-nothings. I certainly don’t have a problem if someone tries to sell me a copy of the Big Issue. What I do have a problem with though is when this seller is incredibly pushy and doesn’t take no for an answer. What I have a problem with is when a vagrant takes exception to god-knows-what and adopts an aggressive behaviour towards me... just because they feel like it.
With all the officers usually on the main concourse at Waterloo, surely it’s not too much to ask for a couple of them to take the escalator and see what’s going on at street level?? And why doesn’t the Fire Station landlord do anything about it? Is he happy to see his customers harassed? Does he want to see them go and drink somewhere else??

The World's Favourite Airline??

2009-08-02T20:51:00.004+01:00

I was quite surprised to hear that British Airways - once the world's favourite airline - have decided to scrap all meals, excluding breakfast, on all flights under 2.5 hours.
My surprise stems from the fact that this is a rather dangerous route to go down, in my humble opinion. I am totally aware that BA have been implementing several cost cutting exercises recently but this may be a step too far.
Swapping a pretty decent sandwich for a bag of nuts or another snack will effectively put them on a par with Alitalia, for example, as far as Italian destinations are concerned. Now that post-merger Alitalia has improved its timekeeping, there was only the in-flight catering left to differentiate them from British Airways. Will customers be happy to pay a higher fare to fly BA for what is probably a very similar service?
Anyway, never mind Alitalia.... some analysts have pointed out that axing meals on short-haul flights will reduce BA's differentiation from the no-frills carriers and I cannot disagree with this viewpoint. Once you scrap the free sandwich (drinks will still be available on BA), passengers will be left to ponder if the inconvenience of not having a pre-assigned seat - if you fly Easyjet for example - may be tolerated if you can save £50 or more on a short-haul flight to anywhere in Europe.

Italy’s problems do not end with Berlusconi

2009-08-01T19:03:00.004+01:00

A couple of days ago, I read this article in the Financial Times. Unfortunately it is pretty accurate, and I say 'unfortunately' because it certainly doesn't paint a great picture of my country of origin. As usual, what will be the most common reaction in the Italian media to any criticism coming from abroad and particularly from the British isles? "They are only jealous of us".... "What do they know? They dress like tramps".... "We're not taking any lesson from a country without bidets". I have heard all of them before.

The article below is courtesy of the Financial Times. It is a bit long but definitely worth reading.

The now daily revelations about Silvio Berlusconi’s sex life suggest to many a leader unfit to govern. Yet in the extensive coverage in the international press and the growing condemnation of the Italian prime minister’s behaviour, bigger problems are being missed that go to the heart of Italy’s decline and which will not be remedied solely by his removal from office.

The central issue in the background is the extent of corruption at the heart of the government, and the lack of transparency and accountability that bedevils efforts to deal with it. There is a culture of illegality that runs through Italian politics and extends to society, from habitual tax evasion and Mafia involvement in building contracts – including, many suspect, ones currently being negotiated in earthquake-ravaged L’Aquila – to the fixing of football matches. Italy has easily the highest proportion of MPs found guilty of criminal offences in Europe. Mr Berlusconi has faced down many court cases of his own, successfully avoiding prosecution merely by virtue of parliamentary immunity legislation introduced by his own government.

There are two main reasons why this situation has been allowed to continue. First, Mr Berlusconi presides over a regime built through his media empire, which includes the ownership or control of almost the entire television network and significant publishing ventures. Even Rai, the public broadcaster – which has faced much political interference from Mr Berlusconi – has refused to carry any coverage of the allegations linking him to the escort girl Patrizia D’Addario on its main news channel.

The second reason is the continual failure to open up Italy’s political system following the “Tangentopoli” corruption crisis of the early 1990s, which brought down the ruling Christian Democrats. The Italian left has gone through a severe crisis of identity and several name changes in recent years, and has failed to develop the reforming agenda that this moment of opportunity demanded.

Perversely, it has been Mr Berlusconi who has benefited most from this political vacuum. Since his arrival on the scene in 1994, he has reshaped Italian political culture and values in his own image. The merging of his Forza Italia with the post-fascist National Alliance last year into the People of Freedom Party only consolidated his control, as his allies depend on his patronage, power and popularity with voters. Even the Northern League, which brought down Mr Berlusconi’s first government in 1994, depends on his leadership.

The opposition is currently having its own leadership dilemmas, as it attempts to find someone capable of what seven centre-left leaders – with the exception of Romano Prodi – have failed to do: defeat Mr Berlusconi. The decision of the last incumbent, Walter Veltroni, to resist what he called “anti-Berlusconism” merely allowed the prime minister’s conflict of interests to remain unchallenged. The failure of Italy’s political class to reform itself over many decades has meant Mr Berlusconi’s populism has been able to address some of the everyday fears of Italians, however incongruous this may seem to outsiders.

The situation has become so serious that Antonio Di Pietro, leader of the Italy of Values party who led the “Clean Hands” anti-corruption movement in the early 1990s, recently placed an advertisement in the international press calling on foreigners to help “save Italian democracy”. Shortly after, the comic blogger Beppe Grillo decided to stand for the leadership of the Democratic party, the main opposition party. Both developments are symptoms of the same problem, namely that there is neither an alternative leader nor a strong movement for change at home capable of delivering credible government.

Even when Mr Berlusconi does finally leave – and despite some fall in support there is no reason to believe his departure is imminent – there is little hope that the cross-party collaboration needed to introduce a new electoral system, more public accountability, greater media independence, and more competition to open up markets, will follow. The international condemnation of the Italian premier’s behaviour has at least brought the early beginnings of national self-examination. We will wait to see whether this will lead to further introspection, or the energy to drive a new spirit of reform in the future.

Una nuova stagione

2009-07-31T15:33:00.001+01:00

Inizia presto quest'anno la stagione calcistica per l'AS Roma, 'grazie' al patetico piazzamento finale del campionato scorso.
Esordio in casa con il modesto Gent, battuto alla fine per 3-1, in virtu' di un bel secondo tempo. A dire il vero, il primo tempo non era stato orrendo ma ora piu' che mai Spalletti deve dare un'addrizzata alla difesa. Concediamo dei gol tragicomici. Una squadra che ambisce arrivare fino in fondo alla Europa League non puo' e non deve farsi bucare in quella maniera.
Tra le note positive della serata, metterei la buona forma di molti elementi della prima squadra. Esordio piu' che incoraggiante per Guberti e Cerci sulle fascie. Il primo in particolare ha mostrato molta verve e voglia di darsi da fare.
Per quanto mi riguarda, dopo aver visto il primo tempo su R4, Mr. Murdoch si deve essere ricordato nell'intervallo che R4 non e' piu' disponibile sui normali canali analogici per cui all'inizio del secondo tempo mi sono ritrovato davanti un bello schermo tutto blu, invece della partita dell'Olimpico. Rapida corsa in camera da letto, accensione del laptop ed esordio in prima assoluta della partita in streaming, che per un dinosauro come il sottoscritto non e' roba da poco.
Vedere una partita in streaming non e' neanche lontanamente paragonabile a vederla in TV, sia per la qualita' del video, sia per gli immancabili 'impallamenti' (termine molto tecnico) del computer, pero' considerando che il tutto e' gratis, ci si puo' passare sopra alla grande.

Happy Birthday

2009-07-30T11:13:00.004+01:00

Hang in there old chap, it'll get better, I promise you

Who’s in favour of trouble-free drinking?

2009-07-29T20:05:00.001+01:00

I disagree with those people that want to see the ‘happy hour’ in pubs being scrapped.

Unless you live in John O’Groats or the Orkneys, drinking in pubs has become a rather expensive exercise, therefore the ‘happy hour’ is a rare opportunity to enjoy a drink in a pub at reasonable prices. At the same time I have a lot of time (and sympathy) for those people who are sick and tired of drunken morons spoiling it for everyone on almost any given night.
Maybe I’m old fashioned in suggesting this.... but why don’t we just apply the existing law, whereby pubs that keep serving drinks to visibly inebriated punters are either heavily fined or (even better) or have their licence revoked?

Promises, promises...

2009-07-28T17:28:00.000+01:00

Back in April, didn't all the meteorologists predict that this summer was going to be rather hot, with long sunny spells, hosepipe bans etc...?? (Actually forget the bit about hosepipe bans, I made it up, we had them even when it rained almost every day).
Anyway I clearly remember all the weather forecasts, saying that it would be a summer to remember weather-wise. I was so confident and enthusiastic that I even bought some shares in BBQ Limited!
Well, what have we got so far?? One hot week in May.... one hot week in June.... another hot week in early July.... and not much else. Not really worth writing home about, is it?
About a week ago I read that nice, sunny weather should finally be with us in early August. Let's wait and see, although I'm severely tempted to sell those shares....

A law unto themselves

2009-07-27T21:51:00.003+01:00

1) Steven Gerrard cleared of attacking a DJ in a nightclub brawl. Had he been found guilty, he would have stared at a prison sentence. Even though CCTV footage showed the DJ being hit by a barrage of blows, Gerrard walked free.
2) Amy Winehouse found not guilty of common assault. She denied punching a fan that had asked for her photograph.
You don’t need to be a genius to realise that if you or I had been in the dock, rather than Stevie or Wino, we would have been found guilty as charged.
The sad reality is that we live in a celebrity-mad society and these ludicrous verdicts (which scream double standards) are one of the least palatable by-products.

Cicoria raschia il fondo del barile...

2009-07-24T16:08:00.002+01:00

Commentando la prossima trasferta europea a Gent in Belgio, Antonio Tempestilli (il team manager della AS Roma) ha avuto modo di sfoderare una serie di perle dialettiche per far sapere ai tifosi che il Gent e' un avversario da temere. E' anche comprensibile che Tempestilli non possa dire "Andiamo li' in Belgio e gliene facciamo quattro", piu' che altro per rispetto dell'avversario comunque ecco le poco convincenti motivazioni presentate dal buon Cicoria....
"Dal punto di vista prettamente sportivo, il Gent è più temibile del Naftan" - ebbe' hai capito!! Il Gent e' riuscito nell'impresa di eliminare il terribile Naftan..... mica e' da tutti, che ti credi?
"Il club fiammingo dispone di una buona tradizione europea" - e che vuol dire? Quella ce l'ha pure il Nottingham Forest, pero' sono anni che non combinano nulla di buono.
"Il Gent ha concluso al quarto posto l'ultimo campionato del Belgio" - qui mi tolgo tanto di cappello.... peccato che subito dopo hanno tolto il microfono a Tempestilli, altrimenti ci avrebbe informato che al quinto posto si e' classificato il P&F (Pizza & Fichi), vincendo il play-off contro il DLF (Dopo Lavoro Ferroviario).
"Il Gent è allenato dall'ex-portiere della nazionale Michel Preud'homme". Embe'?? Pure Zoffetto era portiere della Nazionale e ha fatto l'allenatore (con fin troppo immeritato successo) ma che adesso mi devo preoccupare pure di questi??

Per quanto mi riguarda.... la stagione comincia sotto i migliori auspici, nonostante le attuali ristrettezze economiche. Sono riuscito a trovare un biglietto di a/r sull'Eurostar fino a Bruxelles per 59 sterline. Il biglietto per l'Eurostar e' valido su tutta la rete ferroviaria del Belgio, quindi per arrivare fino a Gent non devo spendere un euro in piu'. Adesso non mi resta che trovare un alberghetto per riposare le mie stanche membra dopo la partita.
Tenetevi forte..... la campagna europea sta per ricominciare.

Double standards (of the worst kind)

2009-07-22T16:34:00.002+01:00

The Italian Establishment reared its ugly head once again last week when an Italian policeman was sentenced to six years in prison for killing a Lazio supporter two years ago. Luigi Spaccarotella shot dead Gabriele Sandri at a motorway service station following a minor scuffle between Lazio and Juventus fans in Nov. 2007, prompting riots by football supporters in Rome and all over Italy and a general crackdown on Italian football ultras.
Let's be totally clear about this - this sentence is an absolute joke. There was no need for Spaccarotella to get his gun out, let alone to shoot (twice). Prosecutors had asked for a 14-year sentence, which is still quite lenient for a murder charge. No less than 5 witnesses saw Spaccarotella lift his arm calmly and aiming before shooting. It seems that 5 witnesses were not enough though. This dirty copper was convicted on a much lesser charge (manslaughter). In reality this means that he won´t do any jail and probably will keep working for the Police as if nothing happened.
I am thoroughly disgusted because we have more and more evidence that all you have to do in Italy to be above the law is to wear a uniform (or be the Prime Minister.... but that's another story). Fans all over the country are trying to raise attention as this sentence sets a very dangerous precedent; needless to say the vast majority of media are loyal servants of the Establishment so all we can hear from the 'official channels' is a deafening silence.

A call you cannot refuse to answer

2009-07-17T16:52:00.001+01:00

The day I left these sunny shores to go on holiday in Tuscany was a rather eventful one. I had planned everything with Swiss precision so that that I would arrive at Gatwick airport with some time to spare and relax.
To say that something that I had eaten earlier that day disagreed with me is a bit of an understatement. To paint a more accurate picture, that something not only disagreed with me but also dragged me in a toe-to-toe, beat the sh1t out of me and sued me for millions.
All was going well as I was about to leave my house, station-bound. However something in the tummy department just wasn't right so I nipped to my private study for a quick session. It didn't turn out to be that quick as 10 minutes later I was still there, which meant that I had to leg it to the station, carrying a rather heavy bag as well as my laptop bag.
Unsurprisingly all the slowest people in Kingston must have decided to unite and boycott my valiant effort as I had to dodge zillions of snail-pacers trying to get to the station. Now I have some good & bad news for you.... the good news is that I made it to the station. The bad news is that I missed my train by a matter of seconds as I saw it leave the station when I got to the platform. The very bad news is that the next train had just been cancelled. The truly horrific news is that I suddenly felt that 'the enemy within' was still alive and kicking (quite literally, I suspect) in my tummy. The train cancellation meant that I had no time for a pit stop at Wimbledon on my way to Clapham Junction. Not a happy bunny.
However I started feeling considerably better after a few minutes and (when I finally got on my train) I was 100% convinced that I wouldn't need to answer any calls of nature before Gatwick. In terms of wrong predictions, this probably ranks up there with Alan Hansen's famous "You don't win anything with kids".
At Clapham Junction I patiently waited for my Gatwick train. All was fine. My tummy wasn't troubling me at all. I was cool as a cucumber in my A&F t-shirt and shorts. The world was smiling at me. Virtually invincible!
Once I got on the Brighton train I was indeed invincible.... for about 2 minutes. After 3 minutes I started sweating profusely, despite the air conditioning. After 5, I was on my knees (almost literally). My carriage was quite packed with Gatwick-bound tourists as well as a rather loud hen party.
As we stopped at East Croydon I knew only too well that I would never make it to Gatwick in that state. I'm sure you know the feeling.... you start shivering even in the sweltering heat, you look around in a state of panic not knowing how long you can keep it in. I'm positive that I would have felt cold even if I had worn a bl00dy parka rather than my favourite A&F t-shirt. I had only 2 options left, plain and simple. Either I had to get off the train pronto or 'the enemy within' had to leave my body..... pronto, but not until I had found a suitable venue. When you can't locate a toilet in either direction, and you feel like you're turning every colour of the rainbow, you actually start believing that a couple of semi-hidden empty seats at the end of your carriage (and a shopping bag as sacrificial lamb) are a perfectly suitable venue. When you turn a darker shade of indigo.... you don't even care about the toilet roll - you would just happily pay one grand to find those two empty seats, trust me.
Just when I was contemplating how humiliating on a scale from 1 to 10 it would be to lose control of my giblets in front of a hen party (8.5 is the general consensus, upgradable to 10 if you're wearing shorts), divine intervention came in the form of a sliding door that I saw at the far end of the carriage. Was I hallucinating? Is it a mirage? No it was a perfectly working toilet door. God moves in mysterious ways indeed.
I made my way down there, merrily bashing everyone in sight with my two bags, but now I had to overcome one last problem, and it seemed as big a problem as the internal explosion that was going to take place inside me within nanoseconds. 3 or 4 hens had formed an orderly queue on the train aisle as clearly they could not contemplate getting to Brighton without their make-up impeccably applied. Desperate times require desperate measures so, totally disregarding the good habits learnt over so many years in the UK, as soon as the door opened I bolted forward, skipped the queue and secured my place in heaven, muttering a self-explanatory "I need to go" before any of those tarts could open their gob.
After dispersing approx. 10% of my bodily weight over 5 miles of Surrey railtrack as well as Purley station, God took his revenge on me for skipping the queue by depriving me of any toilet roll. No doubt egged on by a baying mob of hens, the Almighty left me without anything remotely soft that I could use in that cubicle. I would never consider using my fingers in those situations but when you have no options left, you start wondering if the left hand would be better than the right one, which fingers are most suited for the job etc.... Just as my nightmare was about to become reality, I realised that I must have had some wet wipes in one of my bags. EUREKA!!! Punching the air with joy, I found a packet of old, now dry wipes, which must have been wet when Blair was still popular.
Deed done, I came out of the cubicle grinning like a Cheshire cat, ready to face the hen party music.... however hardly any passengers were there, the hen party must have got off and certainly no-one gave me any grief for skipping the queue - result!! As I left the train at Gatwick, I knew only too well that the recent bodily exertions had taken a rather heavy toll as I walked rather funny. Without a care in the world, I had (and still have) only one doubt left in my head: who on earth goes on a hen night in Purley??? Bonkers.

Phuket

2009-07-14T21:58:00.004+01:00

The island of Phuket in southern Thailand is one of the most exotic holiday destinations in the world. You get tourists from all over the world and with good reason too, considering the beauty of this island. What amazed me first, and still does after many years, is the friendliness and the relaxed approach of the locals, which really rubs off on most visitors.
Being close to the Equator, be prepared for a (fair) bit of rain, particularly if you go in the low season, which is from May/June until November. However it is warm all year round, hence its luscious vegetation.
Phuket managed to survive the tsunami in December 2004, which caused lots of casualties and untold damage to property and local businesses. The island is shaking off its dodgy nightlife reputation, appealing more and more to couples and families.

Things to see, people to do

Beach hopping:
There are so many beautiful, pristine beaches on Phuket that it’d be a shame not to visit at least a few of them. Nai Harn, Rawai, Nai Yang, Kata, Karon, Laem Singh… the list is endless. The sand is almost white, the water is so clear that you can see small fish swimming everywhere. Most of these beaches have a few little basic restaurants, where you can get freshly cooked seafood. Hire a deckchair and lie down sipping a nice cold drink…. trust me, life doesn’t get much better than that.

Going down…. Diving & Snorkelling:
You definitely need to dive when you're in Phuket. Its coral reef is just amazing and there are many dive sites. Decide where you want to go first, because the dive operators, I think, are booking on the same pool of boats, meaning it works like an alliance, even though they are actually competing. There are many options available so you have to decide where you want to go first and for how long. Then it's best to talk to the people at the dive centers for a best schedule for yourself. Most of the time, the packages on the site are what they tell you about but you can negotiate and discuss with them when you get to Phuket itself.

Phuket Fantasea:
it is a 140 acre theme park, with loads of activities and entertainment, a festival village with carnivals, games, handicrafts and shopping, plenty of things to blow your money on. As a spectacle it is certainly amazing with 30 or so elephants, mock battles, pyrotechnics and aerial ballet in an auditorium that seats 2,000 just part of the entertainment. It is certainly not for serious students of Thai culture, but is a beautifully choreographed and delightful piece of theatre. The one and a half hour show is fantastic, great sound and light effects, (even if the story is hard to follow at times) and suitable for all ages.

Filling your gullet

Trying to cater for everyone’s taste, Phuket offers every sort of eaterie, Thai and international. Although I try hard, I still fail to understand why anyone would travel halfway across the globe to have some spag bol or a cheeseburger, particularly when the local cuisine is so good. Therefore I will only recommend a couple of Thai food places below.

Savoey Seafood:
Located on Beach Road in Patong (the most touristy resort in Phuket), Savoey offers a wide selection of seafood... fish, shrimps, crabs, lobsters, clams etc.. you name it (and they all have it). The place is usually full during dinner time in high season. Price differs on the size and weight, and service is (almost) impeccable however it’s fair to say that this is not the cheapest place in town. Suffice to say that members of the Thai royal family are rumoured to eat here when in town.

Chiang Rai Seafood:
pretty much like Savoey…. only 3 or 4 times cheaper. Located at the back of the Tiger complex, just off the (in)famous Bangla Road, CR gives you the opportunity to pick your choice from a wide display of fresh seafood at the entrance of this restaurant. You then pick your preferred sauce / cooking method from the menu and 15 minutes later it’s ready in front of you. Yum yum :-) Your (short) wait will be much more amenable if you get a fresh coconut to sip before food arrives on your table.

Holiday in Tuscany... coming to an end

2009-07-10T22:12:00.001+01:00

Our holiday in Tuscany (Corte dei Butteri Hotel, 4 stars my hairy a*se) is coming to an end and and I’d be incredibly surprised if we ever come back here again.
As mentioned in my previous post, the rooms are nice and clean, however Mum & Dad are distinctly unimpressed with the quality of food here. In all fairness, I have had better food at work canteens. You can easily tell that the hotel management have launched the biggest pennypinching exercise ever seen on these shores as far as the restaurant budget is concerned. And have you ever been to a 4-star hotel / restaurant where you get paper napkins on the table?? I wouldn’t give a damn if the food was good but sadly this is not the case!!
As it happens, both my parents and I are pretty relieved that we are going home on Sunday. It’s quite unusual that you are happy to get to the end of your holiday… but that’s the way we feel! It’s a very different story for my daughters as they have made quite a few friends and virtually I only see them at poisoning time (calling it meal time would be slightly misleading) and bedtime. Obviously I am not allowed to cramp their style at any time therefore any attempt at conversation with them on my part is met with a lethal combination of icy stares and silent treatment. You have to love teenagers….

Holiday in Tuscany

2009-07-05T22:45:00.002+01:00

Finally went on holiday yesterday!
Flew to Rome last night and drove to our hotel (Corte dei Butteri, near Talamone in southern Tuscany, 90 mins north of Rome) today.
The hotel is not too bad, rooms are ok and clean, the beach is pretty nice. I will post a couple of pictures tomorrow… or when I can be bothered.
The restaurant offers quite a good variety of nosh, both at lunch and dinner. I think the chefs working there are quite talented as they managed to remove any taste from most foods.
We came to this place last summer as well as my daughters really enjoyed it. I certainly didn’t mind it as it’s a pretty relaxing holiday. My main gripe is that (as I remembered from last year) there is very little to do after dinner. As it happens, my memories were not entirely correct as there is NOTHING to do after dinner. My favourite activity between dinner and bedtime is following my daughters and trying to embarrass them, which I’m sure they’ll hate me forever for.

La Trasferta

2009-06-28T23:11:00.003+01:00

E' uscito da un po' di tempo un libro scritto da un carissimo amico mio, praticamente come un fratello.

Il libro si chiama 'La Trasferta' ed e' pubblicato da Edizioni Clandestine. Come dice il titolo.... parla di una trasferta (!!!).

La squadra e' immaginaria pero' la storia e' molto reale e vista dagli occhi di uno che potrebbe tranquillamente essere uno di noi. Ci sono tutti i personaggi che - nel bene e nel male - fanno parte del panorama del tifo: alcuni ultras che vanno a braccetto con la societa', altri che non sopportano questo stato di cose, le guardie che si comportano da guardie, i giornalisti al soldo del potente ecc....

Io l'ho trovato cosi' appassionante che me lo sono letto in meno di due giorni. Se non siete dalla parte dei vari Italo Cucci e compagnia bella, piacera' di sicuro anche a voi.

Ice Cream, yum yum

2009-06-28T22:35:00.005+01:00

Last Thursday the ice cream maker finally arrived in KT1. I had ordered it 10 days earlier and it seemed effin ages. Mark this date: 25 June 2009. It all started here :)
So far I have been experimenting a little with a good degree of success. First on the list it was strawberry ice cream, followed yesterday by blueberry. Today I put some raspberries to the sword (or should I say to the blender??).
Most ice cream recipes you find on the Net originate on the other side of the pond, therefore I am still getting to grips with their way of measuring ingredients. Anyway I now know how much '1 cup' of sugar is in real terms.
Today I felt a bit more confident and straying away from the fruit path I produced a pretty good rum & raisin ice cream. The only negatives is that maybe I put too many rum-soaked raisins and definitely too much rum. Oops.... oh well, I'll have to eat it all myself....

Come Fly With Me - Part 2

2009-06-23T14:40:00.002+01:00

Having flown Easyjet to Rome last weekend, I think that it may be useful to add a paragraph or two on the 'tactics' that one may employ to have the seat next to you free when seats are not allocated.
First and foremost, make sure that you are among the first to board the flight - that really should go without saying. 'Doing a Usain Bolt' off the starting blocks as soon as boarding starts is of paramount importance. Casually strolling in aboard, thinking that you're cool as a cucumber, will mean only one thing, ie. that you'll be stuck in a middle seat for the next two hours. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Once you have managed to make most of your fellow passengers eat your dust and have secured the seat of your choice, your next job is to scrutinise your fellow passengers coming down the aisle and mentally draw your 'persona non grata' list. Ooohhh, that one looks like a weirdo. Hopefully he prefers a seat at the back... I believe that weirdos are ranked in 3 categories: 1) Little Bit Weird: if I really have to, I will sit next to one for two hours (after all I am not that normal myself); 2) Quite Weird: use all your peaceful means of dissuasion to avoid sitting next to one of them; 3) Russians: no comment is necessary.
Never mind weirdos, I certainly don't want to rub shoulders and elbows with the guy coming down right now, he looks like a scruffy dosser to me. Why do I want to avoid scruffy dossers (aka hippies, the great unwashed etc... you know what I mean)?? First of all, because any piercings on one's face (other than on the earlobe or the nose) simply gets on my wick. Dunno why, it's just stronger than me. Secondly because scruffies tend to have all the hygiene of a Bulgarian goat; probably the last time he had a shower, Newcastle were still considered a great team (and this is by their own fans). Thirdly because if - for some bizarre reason - I liked dreadlocks (and I don't), I'd live in Kingston, Jamaica, not Kingston-Upon-Thames.
Following the scruffy dosser, who has wisely decided to bring his body stench somewhere else on the plane, there is a rather normal looking bloke, although - as makes his way down the aisle - I get mixed signals. The good news is... he looks nice and clean. The bad news is... he wears a pastel-coloured jumper, wrapped around his shoulders (hhhmmmm). More good news as he smells nice and certainly had a shower today. More bad news (very bad in fact) as I realise that he probably sang "It's raining Men" or "I Will Survive" at the top of his (squeaky) voice whilst taking said shower... and rehearsed a few choreographed steps as well.
With all these despicable characters to avoid, the key question is: what can you do to make sure that they won't seat next to you??
Option no.1: you can pretend to have the equivalent of Siberia's gas reserves trapped inside you. Very good in theory. How do you do that though?? Do you gurn frantically like you're about to explode?? You never know, it might work.... Option no.2: you can try and look meaner than the meanest football yob. Again... very good in theory, lots of grimacing and teeth grinding involved. However if I practised that, passengers looking at me would simply think that I was in the middle of a gigantic Number 2, yes, right there, by the emergency exit on the wing, after all if you have to go, you have to go.
Having managed to avoid any of the above characters (obviously by sheer luck and no thanks to any of the suggested options), in the end, a couple (husband and wife) in their mid-fifties chose to take the plunge and sit next to me. What I know is that I was happy because in my mind my plan had worked perfectly. What I don't know is that the husband - approaching my seat row - probably said to his wife "Let's sit next to that old codger. He's a bit weird but looks harmless"...

Come Fly With Me...

2009-06-17T12:12:00.004+01:00

For all my sins I am a frequent flyer, both short- and long-haul. Therefore recently I tried to write down a list of all the things that annoy me during all the time spent on a plane or at the airport. Are you ready to listen?? Here we go…

On most airlines passengers are given a hot towel, usually prior to that poisoning attempt, cunningly disguised as the in-flight meal. It’s actually a nice welcome touch (the towel, not the poisoning attempt), however why do stewards really have to collect the towels five minutes later with a pair of extra-long tongs and make me feel as if I am dying of leprosy? Just hold out the basket and I’ll chuck my towel in there, thank you very much.

And whilst I’m on the ‘meal’ subject, how many words and expressions is it possible to use to dress up a mushroom omelette? Wild baby hand-reared mushrooms... country style eggs… it’s still the same old bleedin’ omelette, no??

You can have an in-flight entertainment system with zillions of different channels, but it invariably comes down to watching an old episode of Friends or a documentary on how much money you could waste in one day in Dubai. And if you don’t want to watch TV, you can always listen to a music channel devoted to some pap that even your granny would find slightly outdated.

I am not too keen on the in-flight duty-free shopping magazines either. Does anybody sit there as the plane cruises over the Alps and think “Oh yes, I think I’ll buzz the slightly camp steward and ask him if they’ve got the Bvlgari diamond-encrusted matching watch and pendant set”??

On long-haul flights, many airlines offer kiddy packs – crayons, colouring books and comics – to younger travellers to alleviate boredom. Hang on a minute… what about us adults?? How about six back issues of FHM? Or perhaps a newspaper in a language or alphabet that we understand? In desperate times, even the poxy Herald Tribune would do.

Why does the captain have to come on the PA system and tell us how fast we’ll be travelling and how high we’ll be flying? There are no speeding cameras up there – just put your foot down I say. “After we’ve flown over Paris, we’ll be making a left and reach an altitude of about 30,000 feet with a tail wind of about 45 kilometres an hour”. Hhhmmm… I bet you that there isn’t a single person on board (with the possible exception of yourself) who frankly gives a damn. I don’t knock on the cockpit door to tell you what I’m going to do during the flight, do I?? Just get us to the place that it says on the ticket and that’ll do for me.

For me the ultimate in luxury and good fortune – if you’re travelling in economy – is to have the seat next to you free. And so you go through that ordeal of wondering if the person walking towards you is the one. But no! He’s walked right past. He’s got a seat at the back of the plane and not next to me. Snigger. What’s more, I can hear them closing the aircraft door. I’ve done it! I’m home and dry. And then the captain comes on the system to ruin your whole day in seconds. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we apologise for this delay. We’re just waiting for one or two late arrivals” And then you catch sight of him – wobbling down the aisle with a 42-inch waist. Ladies and gentlemen, here comes Blubberman. This professional pie eater pauses momentarily to check the seat numbers. “Yep, this is the one” he says, using his fat finger to point at the unoccupied seat next to you, before wiping away the copious amount of sweat trickling down his forehead. Is there a worse feeling in the world?

All considered, Ol' Blue Eyes didn't have a bleedin' clue when he used to sing "Come Fly With Me", did he really....

Tube Strike - now what?

2009-06-14T21:38:00.002+01:00

Trying to win the Understatement of the Year Award, I'll go as far as saying that this Tube strike didn't make anyone's life easier. However if attendance in my office is anything to go by, it is also fair to say that the disruption caused to commuters and businesses in London was probably smaller than those five-knuckle shufflers at RMT were hoping for.

The disruption was not as bad as originally expected for two main reasons: a) the other main trade union (ASLEF) refused to join the RMT on the picket lines, which resulted in one driver out of three turning up for work as usual; b) perhaps Bob 'James' Crow underestimated the commuters' resilience and their resolve to get to work in the face of adversity, particularly if it means sticking 2 fingers up at the RMT and their ridiculous contractual demands. Personally I don't know anyone who was actually supportive or even mildly sympathetic of this strike, therefore it's easy to predict that this strike didn't do much to endear the RMT to Joe Public.

I sincerely hope that TfL officials don't give in to these small-time bullies and tell Bob 'James' Crow where to go if he doesn't drop his absurd stance. As a long-term solution, I wonder why we can't do like in some European countries, where the Army is trained as a stand-in replacement for essential services, like the Fire Brigade or train drivers. If the RMT decide to go on strike again (for a pathetic reason, like in this instance), let's call in the Armed Forces - it's a well know fact that Tube trains are so automated these days that driving one is hardly rocket science, so why don't we give this idea a go?

New iPhone 3G 32GB: good news and VERY bad news

2009-06-11T16:44:00.001+01:00

From 19 June the new iPhone 3G 32GB will be available. These are some of its best features in my humble opinion: 1) apparently it's approx. 2x faster than the current iPhone; as Borat says... I like. 2) you will be able to shoot videos, edit them and and share them on YouTube (..... or some similarly named websites of ill repute, nudge nudge wink wink). 3) thanks to Voice Control, if you want to call someone or play a song, all you have to do is ask. Apparently VC will recognise the names in your Contacts and knows the music on your iPod. 4) you will now be able to cut, copy and paste words and photos, even between applications. Copying and pasting images and content from the web will also be possible. 5) finally you will also be able to forward messages. I say 'finally' because I think this is one of the main limitations of the current iPhones.

Enough of the good news.... now sit down before you hear the bad news. All this won't come cheap. Not cheap at all. If you are currently on a £35 tariff with O2 (like me), you'll have to fork out £275 if you choose a new 18-month contract or £175 for 24 months. Ouch.... In these recessionary times I think I will stick with my current phone until prices come down a little.

The price of democracy

2009-06-10T22:33:00.001+01:00

Due to the poor turnout at the polls for last week’s elections, the BNP has managed to win 2 seats at the European Parliament in Brussels. Probably a part of the electorate is pretty angry with the mainstream parties for the expenses scandal so they wanted to vote for something ‘different’.
Anyway – whatever the reasons – the sheer reality is that now the BNP has two representatives in Brussels. I don’t think that I have much in common with the BNP, if anything at all in fact. I would just like to say that I disagree with them 100% but I don’t even know what they stand for exactly, due to the very little coverage that they get.
What annoys me though is hearing people saying that we should not allow these 2 MEPs to represent us in Brussels, or seeing angry mobs forcing Nick Griffin (the BNP leader) or his sidekick to abandon their press conference.
Sadly these two nutters were elected DEMOCRATICALLY, which means that they have a right to go to Brussels and a right to speak at their own press conference. We cannot have a law for mainstream parties and a different one for the BNP. Unfortunately some people thought it right to give the BNP their vote and – as much as it’s a wrong choice in my opinion – we have to respect these people’s vote. If you don’t want to stoop to the BNP’s level, then leave them alone. As for the 3 main parties, let’s just hope that they learn something from this totally embarrassing situation and make sure that it’s just a one-off.

Tube Strike

2009-06-09T21:50:00.009+01:00

A 48-hour Tube strike has started tonight. For this we have to thank the RMT and its leader Bob Crow. I honestly can’t find enough words to show all my contempt for this lowlife. Tube train drivers already have one of the most generous contracts to be found in or around London. Excellent wages (compared to the sector average), plenty of days off etc... Obviously this is not enough for Bob Crow as allegedly his original demands included a 5% pay rise as well as the guarantee of no compulsory redundancies from TfL. In what world do the RMT leaders live in??

In these recessionary times, lots of people have lost their job or had to take a pay cut... and these morons want an above-inflation pay rise?? By bullying the RMT members and coercing them into strike, the RMT politburo have shown (ONCE AGAIN) that they have no consideration whatsoever for the paying commuters. Nowadays people like Bob Crow should only be seen at the Natural History Museum – along with other long-extinct animals – rather than at the negotiating table with the TfL officials.

However it is today’s news that the RMT would have agreed to call off the strike if two recently sacked RMT members had been reinstated. In my books this is the lowest form of blackmail, pure and simple. For the record, both drivers were dismissed over serious disciplinary offences. One was sacked for opening the doors on the wrong side of the train, then allegedly lying about carrying out safety checks. How picky of TfL!! What is a wrong set of doors between friends after all?!? The second driver will go on trial later this month for theft. Even Paris Hilton will be able to tell you that if you risk the chop if you nick something from your workplace.

Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, was spot on today in labelling the RMT leadership ‘demented’. I think it would be rather fitting if this ‘James’ (Bob Crow) was run over by an overcrowded bus tomorrow.

Big Brother?? More like Big Snooze

2009-06-08T19:09:00.002+01:00

The tenth edition of Big Brother has kicked off and the viewing public's reaction has been a big yawn. Let's be brutally honest here - it is a tired formula and the general public isn't interested anymore. I wouldn't be surprised (or disappointed for that matter) at all if this happens to be the last edition of BB.

In the first few years, viewers were attracted to this programme because of two main factors in my opinion; 1) the novelty factor;and 2) the BB housemates kind of represented a cross-section of British society. Now the novelty factor has definitely gone, in fact it went ages ago, roughly when the housemates eventually cottoned on the fact that there is a big prize for the winner and their behaviour in the house started being dictated more by 'winning strategies' (if there is such a thing) and less by their inner selves.

Additionally I would seriously consider sticking my head in the Thames wearing concrete shoes if the current housemates are a fair representation of society on these shores. For the vast majority they're just a bunch of 20- or 30-something publicity-hungry freaks. And invariably - according to the BB bible that isthe Daily Star - they are all sex-hungry. Always. 24/7. Without exception.

For a refreshing change, it'd be nice to have an edition when the BB housemates get enough rumpy-pumpy and are pretty happy with their sex lives. I wonder what the Daily Star would make of that....

As a parting shot, I think that a programme should knows that it's on its last legs when the Daily Star is the only paper that mentions it on its front page. Will BB producers take the hint??

That's enough "Talent", thank you very much

2009-06-02T16:38:00.001+01:00

Am I the only one who is glad to see the end of Britain's Got Talent??
I have never watched this programme simply because I am not a big fan of freak shows, like BGT or The X Factor.
Yes, there are some talent acts that are certainly worthy of a big audience (Alexandra Burke, winner of the last X Factor, just to name one) however they are vastly outnumbered by the untalented and the freaks.
Quite frankly I have had enough of Susan Boyle(r), her exhaustion, her Alistair Darling-esque eyebrows, her messy barnet... she simply freaks me out, I just don't want to see her ugly face anymore.
I know I may be in a minority of one but I think that it's about time that even the tabloids started covering more trivial matters like our MPs expenses scandal.
The tabloids know how to make someone's life hell - ask that Scottish boyler for info - so why don't they use their 'talent' for a more worthy cause??

Freaky weekend in Rome

2009-06-01T22:25:00.013+01:00

Two freaky episodes during a nice, albeit not entirely sunny, weekend in Rome...

1) I was driving in the car with my two daughters (13 and 12 year old), looking for a parking spot near our favourite pizzeria. Right next to it there is a rather mysterious nightclub.... well, that's what seemed to me, anyway!!! Parked our car, as we walk right past it I said "That's a strange nightclub, isn't it? No sign, no nothing...". My eldest daughter's only reply is a major sigh, the ultimate putdown like only teenage relations can do. My youngest one, sounding rather irritated by my ignorance (!!!), said: "Dad, can't you keep up?? It's a swingers club...".

WH.... WHAT?!?!?!I don't know what shocked me most.... was it the fact that there is a swingers club so close to my Italian doorstep?! Or that my daughters knew about it?!? I stopped very short of asking them if they knew what a swingers club is.... as I dreaded a positive answer (as well as the obligatory hugh sigh).

I really didn't know what to say!! For the next five minutes I was a bumbling buffoon of Boris Johnson-esque proportions, although some of you may argue that I am one 24/7....

2) We have all come across funny signs and posters when travelling abroad. So far the funniest I had seen was a sign in Thailand advertising a burger bar. However the hapless owner made a spelling error and - in between the U and the G - he wrote another G (rather than a R). And then they complain that their country has a dodgy reputation!! Although I suppose that even ladyboys need a proper job....

Before choosing a foreign name for their restaurant, owners should do their homework and check if the chosen name has a particular meaning. I have to assume that the owner of this particular venue in Rome is not planning to rely on the custom of local ethnic minorities!! Just have a look at this advertising board in the picture below - I am not even thinking of writing the restaurant's name down as I don't want a lifelong Google ban on my blog!!

The Apprentice - Week 10

2009-05-29T11:28:00.002+01:00

Having 'The Apprentice' on at the same time as the Champions League final was not a good idea (for the BBC) as there was only going to be one winner as far as I'm concerned. Therefore I only watched the last 20 mins. of Week 10, after Barcelona had made United look rather silly.
Apparently those bright sparks at the BBC have now learnt from this (schoolboy) error and the episode scheduled to be shown on 10 June has now been brought forward and will be broadcast on Sunday 7 June.

Soooo... Howard is gone. Not much of a surprise as he was up against two of the strongest candidates in my opinion, Kate and Lorraine. In fact now with only 5 candidates left I struggle to find any weak links in the penthouse.
Why did Howard go?? Well.... 'Surallan' claims that in these difficult times he needs a risk taker, as he branded Howard a 'Steady Eddie'. Certainly those eyelids permanently at half mast didn't do Howard any favours. And probably neither did the fact that he uttered more words in the studio later with Adrian Chiles than in the previous nine weeks, when Howard seemed to have less personality than a paper clip.

Howard's team (Ignite) lost this week's task despite picking one of the highest selling items, according to the teleshopping channel experts. This item consisted of a metallic leather jacket, which I wouldn't pick even if I had to go to a Liberace-themed fancy dress party. Why the hell did Ignite pick this very dodgy item?? Did they think that (whilst they were in the penthouse all these weeks) human cloning had been given the go-ahead and a multitude of little Chers is now boosting the demand for very loud jackets?? Or perhaps more simply Ignite thought that this teleshopping channel would not be watched far beyond the salubrious streets of New Cross??

Highlight of the week..... definitely Surallan commenting 'What a plonker!!' when a giggling James gets all confused and cheerfully tries to flog a product at the wrong price.
On a final note... can someone please show Lorraine how to apply lipstick properly?? Honestly, it looks like it had been applied by a rather sozzled Andrea Bocelli .

Football's glum in Rome...

2009-05-28T13:04:00.003+01:00

Bobby Charlton, Clive Tyldesley, Alex Ferguson, Bryan Robson, Matt Busby, Mick Hucknall, Angus Deayton, Roy Keane..... your boys took one hell of a beating!!

It almost brought a tear to my eye to see the self-proclaimed 'best team in the world' lose with such grace, as three of his players got booked in the final 15 minutes for fouls varying from the petulant to the nearly horrific.
Man Utd epitomise E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G that is wrong with football these days so yesterday was a good day for the beautiful game. Up yours, Fergie.

Angels & Demons

2009-05-26T22:47:00.002+01:00

We went to watch the much-hyped ‘Angels and Demons’ yesterday.
It goes almost without saying that all the critics panned it, which probably was in itself a good enough reason to go to the cinema and watch this movie.
As I hadn’t read the book by Dan Brown, I didn’t have any yardstick to judge this movie by and I can honestly say that I enjoyed it. There are enough twists in the plot to keep you interested for the whole 140 minutes of it.
There are some very nice shots of Rome, going beyond the predictable (that’s lots of churches for you) and some seriously fast driving (even by Roman standards) right in the middle of the city. The movie will probably bring one or two more tourists to Rome... as if there weren’t enough of the fcukers anyway.
Personally I could find only one or two unlikely moments in the movie. The first is when Ewan McGregor (impersonating a Catholic priest who was very close to the dead Pontiff) saves Vatican City and all the cardinals from destruction by grabbing the lethal device that’s going to explode in 3 minutes, taking off in a helicopter and flying it as high as possible and parachuting himself to safety onto St. Peter’s Square just before the device goes off in the empty, pilot-less helicopter hovering above Rome. Come on!! A priest piloting a chopper..?!? Even the most gullible among you will have to admit that it is incredibly unusual, virtually bordering on the impossible.
The second improbable moment is when McGregor find himself only a few steps away from being chosen as the new Pope. You don’t have to be a devout Catholic to realise that this event is certainly as far-fetched as the election of an extreme reactionary, backward, Nazi sympathiser as the new Pontiff. And we all know that this would never happen in reality of course.

Now this is what I call....

2009-05-23T16:32:00.007+01:00

....a bloody good idea!!!

This is just so unfair.... why did I not have this idea first??!?

And I am Italian - I was virtually born with a flippin cornetto in my hand...:(

Hhhhhmmmm...... now where can I export this concept to??

Watch this space, my friends!

(Article courtesy of the Daily Telegraph)

A pair of enterprising British brothers believe they have found a niche in Dubai's burgeoning market – by importing the concept of the ice cream van to the Middle East.

Dan and Nathen Furlong launched their business venture after visiting their expatriate parents in the emirate and wondering why nobody was offering refreshments in the sweltering desert heat.
Establishing what they claim is Dubai's first ice cream van, they believed that they would be providing the 150,000-strong British community with a reminder of home.

However, their firm is now expanding rapidly from their initial single van as their cool treats seem to be going down just as well with the local population.
A cone or lolly comes as a welcome respite to local children, who play in temperatures which can often exceed 113F (45C).
The brothers, from South Woodham Ferrers, near Chelmsford, launched the Desert Chill business a few months ago and their ice creams are imported by a local supplier.
The company now has three brightly-coloured vans with its logo – a camel eating ice cream – emblazoned on the side.
Initially, the pair worked seven-day weeks, driving the vans and serving customers themselves, to get the business off the ground.
But they have now employed two drivers and have ambitious expansion plans.
They intend to launch in Abu Dhabi next month and then branch out into the rest of the Middle East.
Dan, 26, said: "The expats all say this reminds them of their childhood. You rarely see gangs of children playing in the streets in the UK any more but you do here."
He added that the van is even starting to bring together the different nationalities which make up the country, providing them with a meeting place.
Nathen, 25, said the pair were nervous about starting up a new business when the recession began because many Britons in Dubai were losing their jobs and returning home.

Tube Map

2009-05-23T15:56:00.006+01:00

Memo to myself:
when you get a bit sozzled (like last night), remember that the Northern line has 2 branches and only one of them goes to Waterloo. So if you want to avoid wasting your time, have a look at this map before getting on any southbound train or you may end up somewhere else. You dopey git.

The Apprentice - Week 9

2009-05-21T17:44:00.001+01:00

As Sir Alan doesn't like cocky, arrogant people (rather ironic that!! Ever heard of pots and black kettles?!?), I was surprised, almost outraged that Ben was still gracing our TV screens with his nasty presence. Thankfully that anomaly was remedied last night when Sir Alan gave Ben his marching orders. What exactly has been your contribution so far?? Ben was asked and his reply was the usual amount of waffle. However there was very little substance which meant that James and Debra went back to the house whilst our wee man from Belfast is now free to pursue to his Sandhurst career where (you heard it here first) he got a scholarship.

Mind you, Ben's bravado and cockiness made him (or his TV persona??) so odious that - if he actually goes to Sandhurst - he's going to get the mother of all bogwashes. In the studio with Adrian Chiles later, Ben cracked up a lot, which in my humble opinion means one of two things: either he can take defeat quite gracefully (hhhhmmmm.....) or he was just like the school boy that wanted to compete with adults and eventually came unstuck. It was great fun for him but... hey, he was the first one to know that he was punching well above his weight.

In this week's episode, Ben and Debra were responsible for losing their team's task. Debra was adamant that the rocking horse would win them the task. Who in their right mind would pay 17 hundred sheets for a hand-made rocking horse?? I am not saying that no-one buys them but the ideal customer that I'm thinking of usually tends to have from 4 to 7 wives, wears long, white robes and probably does his shopping in Harrods, not Earls bloody Court. Did you see any of these characters last night?? Well, neither did I.

Other highlights of the week?? Well, how about Lorraine almost succeeding in singlehandedly destroying the collapsible buggy that she's trying to sell?? Don't expect her to land a prime time slot on QVC anytime soon. James and Lorraine were picked as Team Leaders as both are parents so theoretically they were meant to know what they were doing (hhhmmmm..... ). I was almost shocked when I heard that she is the mother of two kids. Single ladies, spinsters, aspiring mums.... the subliminal message here is that there is hope for every one of you. And I mean E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E.

Desperately Seeking Publicity

2009-05-20T13:27:00.002+01:00

OK, so Peter Andre and Katie Price (aka Jordan) are to get divorced. It goes without saying that the only people that I feel sorry for are their children. I'm sorry for them not only because they will grow up without the support of a proper family, but primarily because they have two vain numbskulls as parents.
Why do I dislike this celebrity couple?? Well, how long have you got?!?!! Because they are the worst kind of publicity seekers.... as if there was a good kind anyway. They are the King and Queen of chavs, make no mistake about it.

Since their meeting in the ITV reality show "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" back in 2004, they have hardly been out of the limelight.
First we had the wedding in Sep. 2005, ie. roughly one year after they first got together. The only place where I have seen people getting married sooner than they did is in Eastenders, which is hardly a valid yardstick for assessing the solidity of any relationship. They may as well have had the wedding reception in the Queen Vic to be honest with you. This wedding as you may remember (unfortunately I do) was a rather understated affair as the bride wore a pink Cinderella-style wedding complete with horse drawn carriages while Girls Aloud's Sarah Harding and fellow reality TV star Kerry Katona were bridesmaids. The epitome of class, if you ask me.

Along with the wedding, comes the obligatory deal with Harper's Bazaar to sell the exclusive rights to the wedding photos. Ok, probably it wasn't Harper's Bazaar but it must have been some similar, highly reputable magazine. These days it seems that celebrity weddings and photoshoot exclusive deals go hand in hand, a bit like Laurel & Hardy, Ant & Dec, Gordon & YouTube etc....

And after the wedding, obviously we have the celebrity sprogs, two of them to be precise. And how are these joyous events to be celebrated? Wait for it..... well, with the umpteenth exclusive photo deals with the Peckham Comet (or something like that) of course. The youngest child, a girl, is called Princess Tiaamii. Now I challenge you to scour all the council estates of South London and ask all the mums what name they have given to their sprogs but I bet you £100 that you won't find anyone with a more chavvy name than Princess Tiaamii. If you think the job is too big, then you are allowed to ask this question only to all those mums who are in a stable relationship. This should considerably cut down the size of your task.

Despite all the heart-breaking statements from this couple that we have read over the last few days ("I love Pete so much" etc...; on the other hand Katie for once did not release any statements), I cannot help feeling that this is not the end of it. What are the odds on them making a Lazarus-like comeback?? "Love is blossoming again bla bla bla...", "We are now having quintuplets bla bla bla...", "I am having 3 new boobs implanted to breastfeed them all bla bla bla..." - I can already picture their stupid mugs plastered all over the front covers. It's all in such a bad taste that I'm quite surprised that Max Clifford hasn't reared his ugly head yet.

Britain's Bankers: Still Cashing In

2009-05-19T17:13:00.001+01:00

Watched Dispatches on Channel 4 last night - this episode was called "Britain's Bankers: Still Cashing In". It was a rather interesting investigation into the financial rewards given to Britain's top bankers, particularly to those whose banks had to be bailed out by the Government (with our money). They also tried to to break down the complex pay packets of these former leading bankers.
It really made my blood boil. For a start, most of these incompetent bastards have failed to apologise for the mess that they have created; secondly their remuneration package is way out order. How can you pay a top executive hundreds of thousands of pounds and not make them accountable for their actions? However the icing on the cake was the revelation that all these greedy so-and-so's are still raking it in, thanks to over-generous pension pots.
I am incredibly annoyed by all this because our remunerations are performance-related, however these top bankers can cause all this damage but they won't be punished financially in any way.
Why can't we reclaim some of their wages back? Surely they can't have spent all this money already. Let's get some of this money back, I say - certainly it wouldn't be enough to cover the public deficit that the taxpayer is now looking at but probably it would go some way towards diminishing Joe Public's anger against the financial services sector in general.
And why can't we take away their pension packages? We can't because apparently "the Government said that it's up to these banks to withdraw these benefits". Hang on a minute!!!! And who exactly is these banks' majority shareholder??? It's the Government itself!!! So effectively the Government (as majority shareholder) could scrap these pension packages... but just won't. And why won't they? Because they're spineless? Or because traditionally there is a considerable amount of back-scratching going on between these top bankers and the Government?? Or because Scottish dog doesn't eat Scottish dog?!?!
Getting outraged like I did if you watched this programme is not a matter of being a die-hard commie, or anything as terrible as that. It's a matter of common sense and decency, something that this Government seems to have lost a long time ago.

We're going to Corporate Central, Que Sera Sera...

2009-05-18T13:59:00.001+01:00

Courtesy of my mate Woodsy (a lifelong Cambridge Utd. supporter), I went to Wembley yesterday to watch the Blue Square Premier play-off final between Cambridge Utd. and Torquay Utd.
Originally Woodsy had got me two ordinary tickets for the Cambridge end, however when he offered me an upgrade to the corporate box, I quickly accepted it, more out of curiosity than anything else. I was curious to see the new Wembley as well as the posh bit of it, where the rich hobnob with the famous (and viceversa) whilst there is a stupid football match going on.
As a football fan, the experience was rather disappointing. And no.... that's not because my oysters were from Brittany, rather than from Ireland. I was disappointed to see how the beautiful game has sold its soul to the corporate devil. The boxes are very plush and cosy, the corridors have nice soft carpets, ushers everywhere, which is all very nice if it was an exclusive clinic or a boutique 6-star hotel..... but can someone please tell me what that has got to do with football? I was quite disappointed to find that there was no attendant to give me a lavender-scented towel to dry my hands in the toilet.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I'm sad to report that Wembley's corporate area employs a disordinate amount of jobsworths, whose only preoccupation is to spoil everyone's enjoyment. So now I know that you can't even have a cup of coffee when the match has re-started after the interval. How cheeky of my girlfriend to remonstrate that she didn't want any alcohol, just some black coffee. And don't you dare drink alcohol in your corporate box room when the teams are on the pitch. If you want to keep drinking booze, then the blinds will have to come down. No.... seriously.
The stadium in itself looks beautiful and is impressive both from the outside and the inside. However I have now learnt my lesson - I just don't belong in the corporate area.

The Apprentice - Week 8

2009-05-15T16:52:00.002+01:00

As I still have something vaguely resembling a social life (just about), I was unable to catch the first 30 minutes of the programme on Wednesday night, so I'll just jot down what impressed me or made me laugh in the final half an hour....
First of all, the two teams had the task of rebranding Margate, once the gem of the Kent coastline, now an almost unmitigated poohole. If you had asked me, there were only two options: either a regeneration of London 2012 proportions (with a budget to match) or a simple phone call to Angela Merkel, asking her to send over the Luftwaffe, total the town Coventry-style and start all over again.
Empire, the losing team - headed by the horrible Debra - chose to target the gay community and attract the socalled pink pound. Now you didn't have to wait for the end of the programme to realise that Empire's idea was just plain bad. Well, I have no crystal ball but I certainly didn't rush to ask my broker to buy shares in Kent Pillows Ltd. anyway. I personally think that - as far as rebranding operations go - it was almost tantamount to making Paris Hilton pass for a MENSA member.
Highlight of the week must certainly be James' reaction when Sugar announced cheerily that the winning team were off off to speed around in racing cars. 'You're putting on a great Punch and Judy show here!' shouted Sir Alan, before condemning James and his Empire team to the usual finger-pointing session in the dodgy caff. Poor old James certainly couldn't disguise his disappointment - G U T T E D was painted across his face!! Almost worth leaving the pub for.... almost.
In the end how team leader Debra managed to avoid the sack is still a mystery. The fact that Mona got the chop instead is a total travesty - in terms of travesties it's up there on a par with Chelsea v Barca me thinks.
Although clearly disappointed for getting the boot, it's not all doom and gloom for former beauty queen Mona as it's rumoured that she's been offered 1 million to shed her clothes for an adult magazine. The figure has been confirmed, however the name of the magazine is still unclear, and so is the currency. However there are no doubts about a similar offer made to fellow contestant Debra and the currency in question (old Turkish Liras).